The Camping Trip of DOOM!
by Umeko the God
Summary: Hikaru, Akira, Waya and Isumi go on a camping trip! And that means... CHAOS! Mild everyone-bashing and OOC-ness. Not a real update, fixed some errors...
1. Spare Doors and the Moping Tree

6.1.03- Hi, everyone! This is my first time writing a Hikago fanfic, so I'm a little nervous about the new audience, but I'll live.  
Before we start, I have some things I want to mention:  
It might be best if you've read at least to volume 17 (or… sixty-something in the anime, I think?) before you read this fic, but it really doesn't make any difference. Just things like the fact that Isumi went to China and Sai *mumble mumble*  
There will be at least a little bit of bashing everyone. This chapter has a lot of Hikaru-bashing, but I don't intend on that being the case for the entire fic. I really have nothing against any of the characters. If you don't like "unbiased" bashing, then don't read.  
And… I think that's it. Oh, for every chapter, I'll have a second copy of that chapter with writer's commentary, which will explain inside jokes and things… like Oms. YAY!  
Okay, that's it! I hope you like!

****

The Camping Trip of DOOM!!  
By Umeko  
Chapter One: "Spare Doors and the Moping Tree"

Akira sighed. "Remind me again why I'm going camping with you three…"

"Oh, come on, Touya!" Hikaru tapped his rival on the head with his fan, chuckling. "You know you really want to!"

"Please quit it with the fan, Shindo-kun…"

"All right, that's IT!" Waya screamed, turning around in his seat to look at the two younger pros. "If I have to hear one more word out of your mouth, Touya, I'm going to throw you out of the car and have Isumi-san run over you repeatedly!"

Isumi looked slightly alarmed and turned his attention from the road for a moment. "That's really harsh, Waya."

Akira blinked obliviously. "Yeah, what did _I_ do?"

"You know what you did!" Waya countered.

"No I don't."

"Yes you do!!"

"No, I really don't know what you're talking about."

"SHUT UP!!" Waya turned back around and sat low in his seat, fuming. "Speed up, Isumi-san!"

"I'm already going over the speed limit…"

Akira turned back to Hikaru. "Shindo-kun, let's play mental go."

"Okay!" Hikaru beamed. "I'll be black!"

"All right." Akira shrugged, figuring that they couldn't really nigiri in mental go.

Hikaru tapped his cheek with his fan, contemplating his first move. "Hmm… upper-right star!"

Since I don't know squat about go, we'll skip the entire game.

"I have lost," Hikaru mumbled, bowing.

"That's all fine and dandy, then!" Isumi exclaimed, fearing the after-play discussion. "Oh, look, there's a diner, let's have dinner!"

Waya looked at the clock. "It's three-thirty."

"Too bad, we're eating." Isumi pulled into the parking lot and dragged the other three into the diner.

"Ah, hello," called a familiar voice.

Everyone turned to face the source of the voice. "Ogata-san?"

Ogata nodded. "This is the Go Diner."

"Sweet, there are gobans on each table!" Waya noted.

Hikaru grinned. "Touya, let's play another game."

"On second thought, let's eat dinner at a normal time," Isumi said. He grabbed the others again and threw them back into the car.

"Aww…" Hikaru whined. "I wanted ramen…"

"They don't have ramen there," Isumi lied.

"Oh, okay then."

The car ride continued for a while, quiet and uneventful, until Hikaru spoke up again.

"Hey everyone, look what I can do with my fan!"

"No," everyone moaned.

Hikaru sniffed. "But it's so cool…"

Akira rolled his eyes. "How many things can you do with a fan? You open it and close it. It's a _fan_."

"But I can open and close it in different ways!"

"What's so cool about that?"

"Just the fact that it's _my_ fan makes it unbearably awesome!"

"I bet you stole that fan from someone, Shindo-kun!"

"_WHAT?!_"

"Yeah, from someone who wouldn't give you any ramen!"

"I did not! Take it back!"

"No way!"

"That's it, I'm leaving!!" Hikaru opened his door, only to have it instantly knocked off by a passing car. "Agh!"

Isumi started panicking. "Shindo, what are you doing to my car?!"

"I didn't do anything!!"

"He tried to leave the car," Akira answered calmly, as if his friend's life wasn't in peril.

"You idiot!" Waya screamed. "You can't leave the car when it's moving, Touya!!"

"Why are you yelling at me? I'm not the one who tried to leave."

"I'm pulling over!" Isumi announced. So… he pulled over.

"And…?" said Waya. "You pulled over, so now what?"

Isumi started getting out. "I have a spare door in the back, so I'm going to get that and attach it."

"You have a spare door?" Hikaru asked.

"Yes, because I knew I'd be driving with you."

Hikaru blinked. "Huh?"

"Never mind." Isumi then used the magical powers he learned in China to attach the door.

Just kidding. He attached it normally.

"There." Isumi climbed back into the car, then turned to Hikaru and Touya. "Now, you two got all that arguing out of your systems, so you should be nice and friendly with each other for a while now, correct?"

"Yeah!" the two boys smiled.

"Good."

The rest of the trip went smoothly, and Waya got out of way-too-angry-to-be-in-character mode.

Finally, the quartet reached the camping grounds.

"Here we are!" Isumi said as he parked the car by a tree.

"Hoo-ray!" the others cheered. Except… maybe not Akira. But maybe he did.

"So now what do we do?" Hikaru asked cheerfully.

Waya unlocked the trunk and looked inside. "Isumi-san and I will make dinner, I suppose. Shindo and Touya, you can set up the tents." He handed the two tents to them, then continued to dig through Isumi's magical trunk that holds everything. "Where's the stove?"

Isumi lightly knocked him upside the head. "I didn't bring a stove. We're cooking over open fire."

"Really? Damn…" Waya pulled out a giant white cloth bag. "What's this?"

"Ah!!" Hikaru rushed over and snatched the bag away. "This is my bag of instant ramen! You can't have any, so hands off!"

"I didn't want any."

Hikaru huffed. "I'm going to tie this into a tree where bears, raccoons, and other people can't get to it!"

"You do that." Waya looked back into the trunk. "Touya, is this your goban?"

Akira walked over and carefully took out the goban. "One of them, yes. I wouldn't take one of the better ones camping."

"Damn bastard…" Waya growled under his breath. He continued digging through the trunk until Isumi took out a pot and grate.

"Come on, Waya. Let's make dinner."

***

"You're putting the stake in the wrong place, Touya!"

Akira slowly looked up at Hikaru, who was doing absolutely nothing to help. "This is the first stake, Shindo-kun. It doesn't matter where I put it."

"Yes it does."

"All right, where should I put it?" Akira sighed.

"Right there." Using his fan, Hikaru pointed to a spot an inch away from the stake's present position.

Akira glared. "Please put that fan away. It offends me."

"How can it offend you?"

"It just does, so put it away."

"You can't be offended by a _fan_!"

"Well, I am!!"

"Too bad! I'm not putting it away!"

"I'll make you put it away!"

"No you won't!" Hikaru grabbed the tarp and threw it over his rival's head. At that, Akira pounced blindly, managing to drag Hikaru to the ground.

"Stop it! Stop it!" Isumi and Waya rushed over to the sparring boys and managed to separate them.

Waya snatched the tarp off Akira's head. "What the hell are you two _doing_?!"

"He started it!" Akira pointed an accusing finger at Hikaru.

"I did not!" Hikaru pouted. "He insulted my fan!"

Isumi sighed. "Look, it's just a fan…"

"NO IT'S NOT!!" Hikaru ran off, then sat by a tree, back to the others, to mope and stroke his fan.

"Whatever." Akira shrugged. "I can put the tents up by myself."

Waya nodded. "You do that. Isumi-san and I will go back to making dinner…"

"DON'T TOUCH MY RAMEN!!" Hikaru screamed, not turning away from the tree.

"We won't. You put it in a tree, remember?"

After a while, Akira successfully got the tents up. Then he went over to apologize to Hikaru. Hikaru accepted the apology, but would only leave his Moping Tree after Akira gave his fan a hug.

"Dinner time!" Waya yelled, because I want to get this chapter over with.

"Yay!" Hikaru sat down next to Akira on a log by the fire. "What's for dinner?"

"Hot dogs on a stick!" Isumi handed everyone a stick with an uncooked hot dog on the end.

Akira cocked an eyebrow. "So, wait… you basically did nothing to prepare for dinner?"

"Are you blind, Touya?!" Waya jabbed his thumb towards the blazing fire. "We got the fire started!"

Hikaru scratched his head. "Is that really that much of an accomplishment?"

"We didn't use matches, lighters, fire starters, lighter fuel, or dynamite."

"Oh!" Everyone put down their sticks and applauded, because that's really hard to do! (Heck, two summers ago when I was at camp we had to light a fire with _matches_ and that was near impossible! We ended up using about four boxes of matches… Then again, it would start raining whenever we got any flame of any sort.)

"So… what did you need the grate and pot for?" Hikaru asked.

Everyone paused and stared at him. After a few moments, Waya slapped him upside the head. "Don't ask stupid questions!"

So we got to the park and had a great time, but I got mad at Oms because he burned the hot dogs!

Hey, I like them crispy! It's a barbecue, isn't it?

"What was that?" Isumi asked, puzzled.

Everyone shrugged and chose to ignore it.

"Anyway…" Isumi cleared his throat. "Since there are two tents, there will have to be two people to each tent."

The younger boys nodded like good little schoolchildren.

"So…" Isumi pointed to each tent in turn. "Waya and I will sleep in that tent, and Shindo and Touya will be in the other."

Waya buried his face in his hands. "The shounen-ai fanfiction authors will get a kick out of this arrangement," he mumbled.

Since everyone had finished eating and it had gotten dark while Oms burned the hot dogs, they all decided to go to bed. So Isumi used the magical powers he learned in China to teleport them all into their sleeping bags.

Just kidding. They all got into their sleeping bags normally.

"Where's my goban?!" Akira demanded.

"I kidnapped it!" Waya answered. "You two are not playing a game tonight!!"

"WHY NOT?!" the two young pros yelled.

"We want to get some sleep!" With that, the lantern in Waya and Isumi's tent went out.

"Oh, well." Akira turned out their own lantern and lay back to go to sleep.

Snap, snap.

He winced. "Shindo-kun, please stop that."

Snap, snap. "Stop what?"

Snap, snap. "Stop playing with your fan!"

Snap. "I'm not playing with my fan!" Snap.

"Yes, you are!" Snap, snap.

"I'm not playing with my fan, Touya!" Snap.

Snap. "Yes you are! Stop lying to me!"

Snap, snap. "I'm not lying!"

Snap, snap. "Yes you are, now STOP!!"

Snap… "SHUT UP!"

"Fine!" the two yelled back, and the snapping stopped, because Hikaru HAD been playing with his fan.

That liar.


	2. Spare Doors and the Moping Tree w Writer...

****

The Camping Trip of DOOM!! (I slaved over coming up with a title. And I don't like what I came up with. Oh, well.)  
By Umeko  
Chapter One: "Spare Doors and the Moping Tree"

Akira sighed. "Remind me again why I'm going camping with you three…"

"Oh, come on, Touya!" Hikaru tapped his rival on the head with his fan **(Hikaru is a bit obsessed with his fan in this chapter. I'm not sure about the rest of the story yet…)**, chuckling. "You know you really want to!"

"Please quit it with the fan, Shindo-kun…"

"All right, that's IT!" Waya screamed, turning around in his seat to look at the two younger pros. **(Waya is a bit… angry in the first part of this chapter.) **"If I have to hear one more word out of your mouth, Touya, I'm going to throw you out of the car and have Isumi-san run over you repeatedly!"

Isumi looked slightly alarmed and turned his attention from the road for a moment. "That's really harsh, Waya."

Akira blinked obliviously. "Yeah, what did _I_ do?"

"You know what you did!" Waya countered.

"No I don't."

"Yes you do!!"

"No, I really don't know what you're talking about."

"SHUT UP!!" Waya turned back around and sat low in his seat, fuming. "Speed up, Isumi-san!"

"I'm already going over the speed limit…"

Akira turned back to Hikaru. "Shindo-kun, let's play mental go."

"Okay!" Hikaru beamed. "I'll be black!"

"All right." Akira shrugged, figuring that they couldn't really nigiri in mental go. **(Actually, they probably could, but… oh, well.)**

Hikaru tapped his cheek with his fan, contemplating his first move. "Hmm… upper-right star!"

Since I don't know squat about go, we'll skip the entire game. **(Sorry about that.)**

"I have lost," Hikaru mumbled, bowing.

"That's all fine and dandy, then!" Isumi exclaimed, fearing the after-play discussion. **(Well… I would too! Wouldn't you?) **"Oh, look, there's a diner, let's have dinner!"

Waya looked at the clock. "It's three-thirty."

"Too bad, we're eating." Isumi pulled into the parking lot and dragged the other three into the diner. **(I hadn't planned on it, but Isumi somehow turns out to be the leader on this camping trip. I guess it makes sense, him being an "adult" and all.)**

"Ah, hello," called a familiar voice.

Everyone turned to face the source of the voice. "Ogata-san?" **(Ogata will show up over… and over… and over…)**

Ogata nodded. "This is the Go Diner." **(I only made it into a Go Diner because I didn't want them to stay there, so…)**

"Sweet, there are gobans on each table!" Waya noted.

Hikaru grinned. "Touya, let's play another game."

"On second thought, let's eat dinner at a normal time," Isumi said. He grabbed the others again and threw them back into the car. **(He THREW THEM THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD!!!)**

"Aww…" Hikaru whined. "I wanted ramen…"

"They don't have ramen there," Isumi lied. **(He's lying… as far as HE knows! And as far as I know.)**

"Oh, okay then."

The car ride continued for a while, quiet and uneventful, **(o.o Impossible!) **until Hikaru spoke up again.

"Hey everyone, look what I can do with my fan!" **(Please, no one say anything.)**

"No," everyone moaned.

Hikaru sniffed. "But it's so cool…"

Akira rolled his eyes. "How many things can you do with a fan? You open it and close it. It's a _fan_." **(He really has a point there.)**

"But I can open and close it in different ways!"

"What's so cool about that?"

"Just the fact that it's _my_ fan makes it unbearably awesome!"

"I bet you stole that fan from someone, Shindo-kun!" **(I don't know how this came up, but… it did.)**

"_WHAT?!_"

"Yeah, from someone who wouldn't give you any ramen!" **(Well… there needed to be a REASON that Hikaru stole a fan from someone. Even though he didn't…)**

"I did not! Take it back!"

"No way!"

"That's it, I'm leaving!!" Hikaru opened his door, only to have it instantly knocked off by a passing car. **(This is one of my favorite parts.) **"Agh!"

Isumi started panicking. "Shindo, what are you doing to my car?!" **(Don't ask how Isumi got a car.)**

"I didn't do anything!!"

"He tried to leave the car," Akira answered calmly, as if his friend's life wasn't in peril.

"You idiot!" Waya screamed. "You can't leave the car when it's moving, Touya!!" **(At this point, I realized that Waya was being a BIT too angry. Yeah, I'm slow.)**

"Why are you yelling at me? I'm not the one who tried to leave." **(Hikaru is being awfully quiet for someone who's practically hanging out of a moving car. Not to mention the fact that Isumi is probably still speeding.)**

"I'm pulling over!" Isumi announced. So… he pulled over. **(Well, what did you EXPECT?)**

"And…?" said Waya. **(Waya's being a bit too rude and sarcastic. Especially considering that he's saying this to Isumi.) **"You pulled over, so now what?"

Isumi started getting out. "I have a spare door in the back, so I'm going to get that and attach it." **(…)**

"You have a spare door?" Hikaru asked.

"Yes, because I knew I'd be driving with you." **(Isumi's smart!)**

Hikaru blinked. "Huh?" **(Hikaru isn't!)**

"Never mind." Isumi then used the magical powers he learned in China to attach the door. **(Did you think that studying go was ALL he did there?)**

Just kidding. He attached it normally.

"There." Isumi climbed back into the car, then turned to Hikaru and Touya. "Now, you two got all that arguing out of your systems, so you should be nice and friendly with each other for a while now, correct?"

"Yeah!" the two boys smiled. **(^^)**

"Good."

The rest of the trip went smoothly, and Waya got out of way-too-angry-to-be-in-character mode. **(Finally.)**

Finally, the quartet reached the camping grounds.

"Here we are!" Isumi said as he parked the car by a tree. **(I'm planning on having this tree play a bigger role later on.)**

"Hoo-ray!" the others cheered. Except… maybe not Akira. But maybe he did. **(That boy is so confusing!)**

"So now what do we do?" Hikaru asked cheerfully. **(I don't know why he's suddenly being oh-so-cheerful. Wait, what am I saying? It's Hikaru.)**

Waya unlocked the trunk and looked inside. "Isumi-san and I will make dinner, I suppose. Shindo and Touya, you can set up the tents." He handed the two tents to them, then continued to dig through Isumi's magical trunk that holds everything. **(It holds a car door, two tents, pots, pans, a goban, a giant bag of ramen, and everyone's luggage. What else would you call it?) **"Where's the stove?" **(It could probably hold a stove also.)**

Isumi lightly knocked him upside the head. "I didn't bring a stove. We're cooking over open fire."

"Really? Damn…" Waya pulled out a giant white cloth bag. "What's this?"

"Ah!!" Hikaru rushed over and snatched the bag away. "This is my bag of instant ramen! You can't have any, so hands off!"

"I didn't want any."

Hikaru huffed. "I'm going to tie this into a tree where bears, raccoons, and other people can't get to it!"

"You do that." Waya looked back into the trunk. "Touya, is this your goban?" **(I figured SOMEONE would bring a goban. Why not Touya?)**

Akira walked over and carefully took out the goban. "One of them, yes. I wouldn't take one of the better ones camping." **(Well, jeez, considering who his father is, I'd imagine that he'd have more than one goban!)**

"Damn bastard…" Waya growled under his breath. **(The Waya from the beginning of the story would have probably blown up at Touya for implying that he was better off.) **He continued digging through the trunk until Isumi took out a pot and grate. **(These are never used. Not in this chapter, anyway.)**

"Come on, Waya. Let's make dinner."

***

"You're putting the stake in the wrong place, Touya!"

Akira slowly looked up at Hikaru, who was doing absolutely nothing to help. **(Akira is looking UP because he's crouching on the ground to put the stake in the ground and Hikaru is just standing there watching him. Just to clear that up.)** "This is the first stake, Shindo-kun. It doesn't matter where I put it."

"Yes it does."

"All right, where should I put it?" Akira sighed.

"Right there." Using his fan, Hikaru pointed to a spot an inch away from the stake's present position.

Akira glared. **(He's glaring at the fan, by the way.)** "Please put that fan away. It offends me."

"How can it offend you?"

"It just does, so put it away."

"You can't be offended by a _fan_!"

"Well, I am!!"

"Too bad! I'm not putting it away!"

"I'll make you put it away!"

"No you won't!" Hikaru grabbed the tarp and threw it over his rival's head. **(Now that I think about it, the tents probably wouldn't be made of tarp. So, we'll just say that the tarp goes… um… UNDER the tents.)** At that, Akira pounced blindly, managing to drag Hikaru to the ground. **(So far as I've seen, Hikaru and Akira don't have any physical fights. But, hey, why not?)**

"Stop it! Stop it!" Isumi and Waya rushed over to the sparring boys and managed to separate them.

Waya snatched the tarp off Akira's head. "What the hell are you two _doing_?!"

"He started it!" Akira pointed an accusing finger at Hikaru.

"I did not!" Hikaru pouted. "He insulted my fan!" **(*nods* Yup. That's a great excuse.)**

Isumi sighed. "Look, it's just a fan…"

"NO IT'S NOT!!" Hikaru ran off, then sat by a tree, back to the others, to mope and stroke his fan. **(I really want to draw a picture of this. I think I will… once I have the time.)**

"Whatever." Akira shrugged. "I can put the tents up by myself."

Waya nodded. "You do that. Isumi-san and I will go back to making dinner…"

"DON'T TOUCH MY RAMEN!!" Hikaru screamed, not turning away from the tree.

"We won't. You put it in a tree, remember?"

****

(At this point, I got a little lazy and tired of writing.) After a while, Akira successfully got the tents up. Then he went over to apologize to Hikaru. Hikaru accepted the apology, but would only leave his Moping Tree after Akira gave his fan a hug.

"Dinner time!" Waya yelled, because I want to get this chapter over with. **(See? Aren't I so truthful?)**

"Yay!" Hikaru sat down next to Akira on a log by the fire. **(Yes, I needed to specify that he was sitting next to Akira. I don't know why, I just did.)** "What's for dinner?"

"Hot dogs on a stick!" Isumi handed everyone a stick with an uncooked hot dog on the end.

Akira cocked an eyebrow. "So, wait… you basically did nothing to prepare for dinner?"

"Are you blind, Touya?!" Waya jabbed his thumb towards the blazing fire. "We got the fire started!"

Hikaru scratched his head. "Is that really that much of an accomplishment?" **(Yes, it is!! :D)**

"We didn't use matches, lighters, fire starters, lighter fuel, or dynamite." **(I have no idea why I listed dynamite. I doubt it would really do anything, would it?)**

"Oh!" Everyone put down their sticks and applauded, because that's really hard to do! (Heck, two summers ago when I was at camp we had to light a fire with _matches_ and that was near impossible! We ended up using about four boxes of matches… **(The counselors were getting annoyed by us by the third box.)** Then again, it would start raining whenever we got any flame of any sort.) **(Just in case you wanted to know.)**

"So… what did you need the grate and pot for?" Hikaru asked. **(I had completely forgotten about the grate and pot. It's amazing that Hikaru remembered. Considering that he wasn't even there. But let's just ignore all these plotholes.)**

Everyone paused and stared at him. After a few moments, Waya slapped him upside the head. "Don't ask stupid questions!"

So we got to the park and had a great time, but I got mad at Oms because he burned the hot dogs!

Hey, I like them crispy! It's a barbecue, isn't it? **(Those past two lines are from a AAA driver's education video. It was a personal favorite of our class, because there were twenty-something people pretending to be teenagers and dancing and singing about intersections and merging and the like. Not to mention the fact that they tried to talk like teenagers. For example, Oms almost crashed into a truck, then he said, "I was so totally freaked out by what happened, I just felt like chillin'.")**

"What was that?" Isumi asked, puzzled.

Everyone shrugged and chose to ignore it.

"Anyway…" Isumi cleared his throat. "Since there are two tents, there will have to be two people to each tent."

The younger boys nodded like good little schoolchildren. **(I frequently have people do things "like good little school children.")**

"So…" Isumi pointed to each tent in turn. "Waya and I will sleep in that tent, and Shindo and Touya will be in the other."

Waya buried his face in his hands. "The shounen-ai fanfiction authors will get a kick out of this arrangement," he mumbled. **(Did I do that on purpose? Time will never tell… :D)**

Since everyone had finished eating and it had gotten dark while Oms burned the hot dogs, **(There's Oms again. What kind of name is Oms? No offense to anyone named Oms.) **they all decided to go to bed. So Isumi used the magical powers he learned in China to teleport them all into their sleeping bags. **(I was starting to debate if Isumi should really have magical powers that he learned in China or not.)**

Just kidding. They all got into their sleeping bags normally. **(I decided that he shouldn't, but I might change my mind later.)**

"Where's my goban?!" Akira demanded.

"I kidnapped it!" Waya answered. **("MWAHAHAHAHAHA!! YOU SUCK, TOUYA!!! NOW PAY ME XXXXXX YEN OR YOU WON'T GET IT BACK!!") **"You two are not playing a game tonight!!"

"WHY NOT?!" the two young pros yelled.

"We want to get some sleep!" With that, the lantern in Waya and Isumi's tent went out.

"Oh, well." Akira turned out their own lantern and lay back to go to sleep.

Snap, snap. **(FAN POW-AH!!!)**

He winced. "Shindo-kun, please stop that."

Snap, snap. "Stop what?"

Snap, snap. "Stop playing with your fan!"

Snap. "I'm not playing with my fan!" Snap.

"Yes, you are!" Snap, snap.

"I'm not playing with my fan, Touya!" Snap.

Snap. "Yes you are! Stop lying to me!"

Snap, snap. "I'm not lying!"

Snap, snap. "Yes you are, now STOP!!"

Snap… "SHUT UP!" **(That was Waya and Isumi, in case you didn't catch it the first time around.)**

"Fine!" the two yelled back, and the snapping stopped, because Hikaru HAD been playing with his fan. **(I wanted to make sure that no one thought it was something crawling around outside, because it really WAS Hikaru's fan.)**

That liar.


	3. Wimpy Akira and ShounenAi Implications

10.16.03- It's about time! I missed writing this fic… it's lots of fun. :3 So, yes, I decided to blow off college essays/college applications/schoolwork in order to finish the second chapter, which I have been working on for about four months now. -_-  
Grrrrrr… my dad deleted the scanlations for volume 1. He left all the OTHERS, though… -_-  
This is really random, but today in English we were going around the room spontaneously naming things that we would dream that we would be (for a poetry project thing). I said a cat, for lack of anything else, even though I really wanted to say a washing machine. ;.; I regretted not saying a washing machine, so then when one of the girls couldn't think of anything, our teacher asked for us to give her ideas. I overcame my chronic fear of being the center of attention and shouted, "A WASHING MACHINE!!" Everyone burst out into laughter. I was happy. ^^ They don't usually appreciate the things I say…  
Oh! I'm already halfway done the third chapter!! XD It's… okay. Really strange so far… I tried to get the bashing AWAY from Hikaru and Akira… ^^;;; And so far, there are three cameos in the chapter… and they're all from HikaGo, I PROMISE. (Unlike THIS chapter… *cough*)  
This chapter is… a little odd. Then again, all of them are. It's mostly Touya-bashing this chapter, I think… heh. ^^;; Anyway, let's get on with it!

****

The Camping Trip of DOOM!!  
By Umeko  
Chapter Two: "Wimpy Akira and Shounen-Ai Implications"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"

Akira, Waya, and Isumi crawled out of their tents, blinking in the early morning light. "What is it, Shindo?"

Hikaru pointed to the tree where his bag of ramen had been hanging the night before. "Someone stole my ramen!!"

Waya slapped his head. "You should have known better than to leave it out! Some bears or raccoons probably got to it."

"I hung it in the tree so that the bears and raccoons COULDN'T get to it!!"

"Just forget about it, Shindo-kun," sighed Akira.

Hikaru paused. "Did you ever call me 'Shindo-kun' before this trip?"

"Uh…"

"I think that's just the author's idiocy," Waya grumbled. "But jeez, you're slow, Shindo…"

Hikaru glared at Waya. "You're making no sense. And YOU!!" He turned back to Akira, pointing at him with his fan. "You will come with me to search for my ramen!"

"I'm WHAT?!"

"That's actually a good idea," Isumi commented, wanting to get the two younger pros out of the way in order to make breakfast without burning the entire campsite down. "So you two run along."

"Yaw-RIGHT!!" Hikaru grabbed Akira's arm and began dragging him into the forest. "Let's go, Touya!!"

***

"Ow!" Akira cried, running into the third tree in a row. "Shindo, stop it!"

"I'm not doing anything!"

"Yes you are! You're dragging me into all these trees!"

Hikaru growled. "I'm doing no such thing!" He whipped around to face Akira, but as he was still holding his wrist, Akira was swung into yet another tree.

"Ow! Shindo!" He pulled his arm away, rubbing his head. "You _so_ did that on purpose."

Scoffing, Hikaru answered, "Did not."

"Shut up."

"YOU shut up! We need to find my ramen."

Sighing, Akira followed Hikaru for a short while longer, managing to NOT run into any trees. Suddenly, he gasped. "GASP!! Shindo!!"

Hikaru ran to where Akira was standing. "What? Did you find my ramen?!" he begun scanning the ground, as if maybe, JUST maybe, his huge bag of ramen could be hiding under a leaf or a pebble or something.

Akira pointed. "Look."

And sure enough, there it was. A cigarette.

Hikaru paused. "Okay… and…?"

"How dare somebody litter our mother earth?!" he fumed. "I AM SO ANGRY NOW!!!"

Still a little confused, Hikaru asked, "So… are you going to pick it up or anything?"

"NO WAY!!!" Akira screamed. "Cigarettes are EVIL!!!"

Sighing, Hikaru picked up the cigarette. "Come on, Touya. Let's go back to the camp."

Akira followed, careful to keep a safe distance away from the stick of death. "Ew, Shindo, I can't believe you're touching that! It's all gross and disgusting! I'm not coming near you EVER again, Shindo!!"

"Fine with me," Hikaru sighed.

"I bet you smoke ALL the time, Shindo!!!"

"Shut up."

"I WILL NOT SHUT UP! Shindo, you… you… DRUG ADDICT!!!"

***

Isumi and Waya looked up from the fire they were attempting to build.

Waya poked Isumi. "Hey, Isumi-san, did you hear that?"

"Yeah." The taller boy nodded. "Touya said that Shindo's a drug addict."

They paused.

"I'M GOING TO TEACH THAT KID A LESSON!" Waya yelled, standing up and punching his palm.

"No, Waya!" Isumi managed to hold him back. "No violence!! We need to convince Shindo that drugs are bad by TALKING to him!!"

Waya calmed down. "You're right."

Sighing, Isumi let go of his grasp.

"BUT I'M STILL GOING AFTER HIM!!!" He stomped off into the woods, and a few minutes later, came back pulling the two boys by their ears. "SIT DOWN!!" he ordered.

"Ow, why'd ya do that, Waya?!" Hikaru moaned, rubbing his ear. "I didn't do anything!!"

"YOU LIE, SHINDO!!" Waya yelled, pointing at Hikaru. "You did something VERY bad!!"

"I REALLY didn't do anything!" Akira cried. "Why did you pull MY ear?!"

"I just don't like you, Touya."

"Now, Shindo!" Isumi took over. "I will have you know that drugs are VERY unhealthy and you are NOT to touch ANY!! So get over your addiction!"

Hikaru slapped his forehead. "I'm not a drug addict!"

Isumi and Waya turned to Akira.

"He is!" he exclaimed.

Waya turned back to Hikaru, glaring. "We know you're lying, Shindo."

"No, no! I'm really not!"

"Then what is THAT?!" He pointed to the cigarette that Hikaru was holding. Isumi shook his head in shame.

"No, listen." Hikaru took a few breaths, trying to calm down. "Touya and I were in the woods looking for my ramen, right? Then Touya saw this cigarette on the ground and started freaking out because someone littered. But he refused to pick it up, so I did so that it could be thrown out. Then he accused me of doing drugs."

Again, Isumi and Waya turned to look at Akira.

"I wasn't going to pick it up!" he responded. "Cigarettes are gross!"

The two older pros groaned, realizing what had REALLY happened.

"Shindo, just… just throw it out," Isumi mumbled.

"THANK you!" Hikaru did so, then came back and hit Akira over the head with his fan. "You're such a wimp!"

"Ow!"

Waya walked over to Isumi's car, grumbling. Opening the trunk, he took out two cardboard boxes. "We're having dry cereal for breakfast."

Isumi cocked an eyebrow. "Why did we try to make a fire, then?" He gestured to their tiny, nanoscopic fire that went out a second later.

"Why not?" Waya shrugged. "So, we have two choices: Sugared Shougi Flakes or Granola Go O's!"

"GO O'S!!" everyone shouted. "GO RULES!! SHOUGI DROOLS!!"

***

Back in Tokyo, Kaga's Spidey Shougi senses started tingling, but he paid no attention.

***

So everyone ate their Go O's and were happy because Go is the bomb. The were also very energized for the day ahead of them, because Go O's are a part of this complete breakfast!

Hikaru grabbed a handful of the cereal. "Touya, let's play a game with the Go O's!!"

"We don't have time!" Isumi quickly interjected. "We're going to hike up the mountain today!"

"What mountain?" the young 'uns asked.

"The one that nobody noticed until now, over there!" He pointed east, and - lo and behold! - there was a GIANT mountain and everyone wondered why they didn't notice it before.

"We're climbing up _that_ in a day?" Akira asked incredulously.

Isumi laughed. "No, in HALF a day! We'll spend the other half climbing DOWN. It isn't as big as it looks, so we'll be able to reach the top in time for lunch."

"YAY!!!" everyone cheered.

So everyone packed up and went to the mountain.

"All right!" Isumi exclaimed as everyone stood at the foot of the mountain. "Now, let's climb that mountain!!"

"YEAH!!" everyone cheered.

"Hold it!" said a voice. They all turned around to see a man with a long nose, big lips, eyelashes, and curly dark hair. He wore a cap, goggles, brown overalls, and a nametag that read "Hello! My name is Captain Usopp-sama!!!!!!"

Everyone stared. Waya leaned towards Isumi. "Hey, Isumi-san. Is this becoming a crossover or something…?"

Isumi shrugged. "I don't know. I think it's just a cameo." Then he turned to Captain Usopp-sama. "Um… can we go up the mountain, please?"

Captain Usopp-sama shook his head. "You have to pay a toll to climb this mountain!"

He sighed. "All right, how much?"

"Ten berries each."

Everyone stood there for a moment. "Um… we have yen, is that okay?"

"NO!! The payment MUST be in berries!!"

Everyone briefly considered challenging him to a game of Go for their right to go up the mountain, but they quickly disregarded the thought, since it would have SURELY taken too long.

Akira sighed. "Look, if you let us play in yen, we'll… ahh… bow to you like a king."

"Hmm…" Captain Usopp-sama rubbed his chin. "All right. Just because I'm the camp manager."

"HOORAY!!" So everyone paid Captain Usopp-sama ten yen.

"Okay, now bow to me."

"NEVER!!" Then they all ran up the mountain, leaving Captain Usopp-sama in the dust. They laughed evilly the ENTIRE way up, because not only did they leave without bowing to Captain Usopp-sama, ten yen is only, like, eight cents. And that's pretty cheap.

Around noon they reached the summit. Then they realized that they had foolishly been laughing for about three hours, so they stopped and abruptly sat down.

"Well, let's set up our picnic, shall we?" said Isumi.

Hikaru blanched. "A… picnic? Ugh… Last picnic I had was when I was eight, and Akari…" He shuddered. "It was horrible…"

"I haven't had a picnic since I was four," sighed Akira wistfully. "Otousan took me to have lunch at the park…"

__

"Akira," said Touya Kouyo as he packed away their food, "now that we are done with lunch, let us have a nice, rousing game of Go."

Akira nodded and took a giant goban out of a picnic basket that was surely too small to carry it. He and his father began playing, but not three moves into the game a four-year-old Hikaru jumped out of the bushes.

"Go is stupid! It's for old men!!" He pointed at Akira's father. "Like you!!" Then he kicked the goban over, scattering the stones everywhere.

"Hey!!" shouted little Akira, as Hikaru ran off cackling evilly.

"My memory!! That's not how it happened!!" Akira glared at Hikaru. "Shindo, why must you ALWAYS show up in my daydreams?!?"

Isumi and Waya, in the process of setting up, froze, and Hikaru stared at Akira strangely. "…_I'm_ in your _daydreams_, Touya…?"

A blush crept across Akira's face as he realized what he had said. "Not like that!! I mean that you are always messing up my thoughts!!"

Still, nobody moved.

"…Touya…"

"Oh, just forget it, Shindo!!" He stomped off and sat facing a tree, fuming.

"Touya!!" Hikaru stomped over to him. "I don't appreciate you copying me like that!!"

Akira glared up at the other boy. "I'm not copying you, Shindo!!"

"_I'm_ the one with the moping tree!!"

"Well, I'm not moping!! I'm fuming, there's a difference!!!"

Isumi and Waya sighed, shaking their heads, and continued to set up for their picnic.

***

"Shindo-kun, could you please pass the salt?"

"Why, certainly, Touya-kun!"

Hikaru and Akira chuckled warmly, flowers, hearts and bubbles surrounding them. Isumi and Waya, observing this spectacle, fidgeted uncomfortably.

Hikaru sighed and gazed at the bright blue sky. "Isn't it just a lovely day, Touya-kun?"

"Yes, very much so, Shindo-kun!" Akira picked up a plate and held it out to Hikaru. "Have you tried the deviled eggs, Shindo-kun? They're absolutely _devine_, Shindo-kun!!"

"Uh, Touya," Isumi ventured, "those aren't deviled eggs. Those are just plain onigiri…"

"Oh, thank you, Touya-kun!" Hikaru took a 'deviled egg' and ate it happily. "Yes, Touya-kun, these ARE delicious! Have you tried the roast beef, Touya-kun?" He gestured towards a bag of potato chips.

"No, I have not, Shindo-kun!" Akira took a chip and ate it. "Oh, Shindo-kun, how delightful!"

Waya gritted his teeth. "All right, spill, you two! What the HELL is going on here?!"

Hikaru and Akira turned to look at Waya, eyes glittering. "Whatever could you be talking about, Waya?"

He slapped his forehead. "Five minutes ago, you two were fighting about a damn tree. Now you're acting like you're the best of friends or something!!"

Akira giggled. "Why, that's because Shindo-kun and I _are_ the best of friends, Waya!"

"Yes, yes," Hikaru nodded. "How correct you are, Touya-kun!"

"Aren't I always, Shindo-kun?"

"Of course, Touya-kun!"

"This is ridiculous," Waya grumbled. "What the hell did you put in their food, Isumi-san?"

Isumi put up his hands. "I had nothing to do with this. They were like this when they sat down to lunch."

"Can't you fix it?!"

Isumi paused, then walked over and took Hikaru's fan.

Hikaru froze. "Oh, how dreadful, Touya-kun! Isumi-san has taken my fan, Touya-kun!"

"Fear not, Shindo-kun!" Akira stood up. "I'll get your fan back for you, Shindo-kun!!" He slipped the fan back out of Isumi's hand and gave it to Hikaru. "For you, Shindo-kun!"

"Oh, Touya-kun! How can I ever repay you, Touya-kun?!"

"Just promise to be my best friend forever, Shindo-kun."

"Oh, I will, Touya-kun, of course!"

Isumi shrugged and sat back down next to Waya as the two boys continued giggling.

"What was _that_ supposed to do?" asked Waya.

"I thought that maybe, if I took Shindo's fan away, he'd break down and then Touya would start yelling at him that it's just a stupid fan."

"Well, it didn't work."

"Obviously."

They sat there for a few more minutes, watching the hearts and bubbles, before Isumi stood up again, clapping his hands.

"Okay, everyone, let's climb down the mountain now!"

"Whaaaat?" Hikaru pouted. "I wanted to look at the beautiful scenery with Touya-kun some more!"

Akira nodded. "Yes, I wanted to look at the scenery with Shindo-kun as well!"

"Too bad!" Waya grabbed the two boys by their ears as Isumi packed up at lightspeed, using his magical powers that he learned in China.

Or not.

"Oh, Touya-kun, isn't this just dreadful?" sighed Hikaru as he was dragged along the ground.

"Yes, it certainly is, Shindo-kun," Akira agreed. "But I don't mind as long as I'm being dragged with you, Shindo-kun!"

"I feel the same way, Touya-kun!"

And the two boys giggled happily.

***

"Goddammit, Touya, that's MY side of the tent!!"

"Don't be an idiot, Shindo, your side is THAT one!"

Isumi and Waya sighed. "I can't decide which I liked better," Isumi groaned.

"This is really getting on my nerves, Isumi-san."

"Well, it's only…" Isumi counted on his fingers. "Five more days…"

Waya hung his head. "I want to go home."

"So do I, Waya… so do I…"

Akira suddenly fell out of the tent. "Ow!"

"Haha!!" Hikaru stuck his head out of the tent-flap. "Now the ENTIRE tent belongs to me! Sucks to be you, Touya!!"

"Shindo!!" Akira banged his fists on the tent, sobbing. "Let me in!!"

Isumi sighed again. "I'm getting to bed."

"Me too."

"SHINNNNNNNNNNNNNDOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Before we go on to the commentary, I'll answer the reviews!! ^^

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covetous lotus - Did I ever say that there wouldn't be any shounen-ai? Well, if I did, I obviously lied or something. :P I mean, there's probably not going to be any straight-out shounen-ai, just hints and stuff. Um… big hints. ^^;;;

****

RcA - I'm glad you liked it!! I find it hilarious whenever I read it, also… and I WROTE the fic. o.O (By the way, you can just call me Umeko. I changed my name from Umeko the Beatnik Emu, anyway. :P)

****

Lauren-sama - Wow!! I didn't know I could have that much of an effect on people… that goes for the previous review, also. o.o Yeah… sometimes I don't MEAN to exaggerate those cliches, but… it just sort of happens. ^^;; That annoys some people, but I'm glad it didn't annoy YOU. And yes, I continued… but it wasn't exactly "soon"… .

****

Ringo Nonohara - Hmm… that's one vote for shounen-ai, and one vote against… Most of the shounen-ai hints that I'll do will probably be Hikaru/Akira or whatnot, anyway.

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HoShi - Yeah… I think "out there" is an accurate description. ^^;;; Oh, yeah, about Waya's comment… I suppose that I, er… forgot that there are non-writers reading the stuff on ff.net. ^^;;; Heheheh… yeah…

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kireira - Um… is that another person who I have apparently influenced without intention? How does this ALWAYS happen…? Anyway, I'm happy that you found it funny! As I said earlier, I do also, and I wrote it, but that might just be the fact that I'm very easily amused… _"I-do-what-I-like-You-got-a-problem?"_ Yeah!! That's EXACTLY what I think whenever I write!! XD Hmm… sounds kind of arrogant… OH, WELL!!! I DO act a little arrogant online (even though I'm the exact OPPOSITE in real life… x.x)…  
They're in character?! Really?!! Oh, hoorah!! I can't usually retain character in stories like this!! Oh… I am… so happy… *tear*

****

Aelys - Alrighty!! ^^

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Akujunkan - Um… hmm… is this a good review or a bad one? *pokes the review* I'll just say… it's a GROOD review!!!

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Halcyon Clouds - I think that maybe I was unintentionally trying to have him act like that, actually… Considering Akira's little daydream in this chapter, it might very well be true. o.O

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Kay -cocacat15 - Well… this is being put up almost two months AFTER receiving your review… is that okay? ^^;;;;;

All right! Now to the commentary!!!


	4. Wimpy Akira and ShounenAi Implications w...

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The Camping Trip of DOOM!!  
By Umeko  
Chapter Two: "Wimpy Akira and Shounen-Ai Implications" (Oh, hoorah!)

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"

Akira, Waya, and Isumi crawled out of their tents, blinking in the early morning light. "What is it, Shindo?"

Hikaru pointed to the tree where his bag of ramen had been hanging the night before. "Someone stole my ramen!!" **(HORRORS!!!!)**

Waya slapped his head. "You should have known better than to leave it out! Some bears or raccoons probably got to it."

"I hung it in the tree so that the bears and raccoons COULDN'T get to it!!" **(Bears can climb trees. I think raccoons can, too.)**

"Just forget about it, Shindo-kun," sighed Akira.

Hikaru paused. "Did you ever call me 'Shindo-kun' before this trip?" **(No, he did not!! ARGH!!)**

"Uh…"

"I think that's just the author's idiocy," **(YES!!!) **Waya grumbled. "But jeez, you're slow, Shindo…"

Hikaru glared at Waya. "You're making no sense. **(Waya is… a medium between the fanfic world and the real world.) **And YOU!!" He turned back to Akira, pointing at him with his fan. "You will come with me to search for my ramen!"

"I'm WHAT?!"

"That's actually a good idea," Isumi commented, wanting to get the two younger pros out of the way in order to make breakfast without burning the entire campsite down. **(I mean… of course!!) **"So you two run along."

"Yaw-RIGHT!!" **(An exclamation that originated from Yosei Nini [Ojamajo Doremi] attempting to say "All right!" in English.) **Hikaru grabbed Akira's arm and began dragging him into the forest. "Let's go, Touya!!"

***

"Ow!" Akira cried, running into the third tree in a row. "Shindo, stop it!"

"I'm not doing anything!"

"Yes you are! You're dragging me into all these trees!" **(Tee-hee.)**

Hikaru growled. "I'm doing no such thing!" He whipped around to face Akira, but as he was still holding his wrist, Akira was swung into yet another tree. **(Oww… poor Touya.)**

"Ow! Shindo!" He pulled his arm away, rubbing his head. "You _so_ did that on purpose." **(I think… in the middle of writing this chapter, I decided that I was more used to calling Akira "Touya." But I'm a stickler for consistency, so I slaved over continuing to call him "Akira." No, this had nothing to do with this line.)**

Scoffing, Hikaru answered, "Did not."

"Shut up."

"YOU shut up! We need to find my ramen."

Sighing, Akira followed Hikaru for a short while longer, managing to NOT run into any trees. Suddenly, he gasped. "GASP!! Shindo!!"

Hikaru ran to where Akira was standing. "What? Did you find my ramen?!" he begun scanning the ground, as if maybe, JUST maybe, his huge bag of ramen could be hiding under a leaf or a pebble or something. **(It is SO possible!!!)**

Akira pointed. "Look."

And sure enough, there it was. A cigarette. **(GASP!!!)**

Hikaru paused. "Okay… and…?" **("So, who do we know who smokes…?")**

"How dare somebody litter our mother earth?!" he fumed. "I AM SO ANGRY NOW!!!" **(Touya has become a nature-boy!!)**

Still a little confused, Hikaru asked, "So… are you going to pick it up or anything?"

"NO WAY!!!" Akira screamed. "Cigarettes are EVIL!!!" **(THAT'S RIGHT!!!)**

Sighing, Hikaru picked up the cigarette. "Come on, Touya. Let's go back to the camp."

Akira followed, careful to keep a safe distance away from the stick of death. "Ew, Shindo, I can't believe you're touching that! It's all gross and disgusting! I'm not coming near you EVER again, Shindo!!" **(He sounds like a girl. XD)**

"Fine with me," Hikaru sighed.

"I bet you smoke ALL the time, Shindo!!!"

"Shut up."

"I WILL NOT SHUT UP! Shindo, you… you… DRUG ADDICT!!!" **(WHAAATTTT???!!!)**

***

Isumi and Waya looked up from the fire they were attempting to build. **(Another fire! Hooray!!)**

Waya poked Isumi. "Hey, Isumi-san, did you hear that?"

"Yeah." The taller boy nodded. "Touya said that Shindo's a drug addict." **(I don't know why they randomly believed that, but…)**

They paused.

"I'M GOING TO TEACH THAT KID A LESSON!" Waya yelled, standing up and punching his palm.

"No, Waya!" Isumi managed to hold him back. "No violence!! We need to convince Shindo that drugs are bad by TALKING to him!!" **(Level-headed Isumi-san!!)**

Waya calmed down. "You're right."

Sighing, Isumi let go of his grasp.

"BUT I'M STILL GOING AFTER HIM!!!" He stomped off into the woods, and a few minutes later, came back pulling the two boys by their ears. "SIT DOWN!!" he ordered.

"Ow, why'd ya do that, Waya?!" Hikaru moaned, rubbing his ear. "I didn't do anything!!"

"YOU LIE, SHINDO!!" Waya yelled, pointing at Hikaru. "You did something VERY bad!!" **("You TOUCHED a CIGARETTE!!!")**

"I REALLY didn't do anything!" Akira cried. **(Touya is suddenly… a wimp.) **"Why did you pull MY ear?!"

"I just don't like you, Touya."

"Now, Shindo!" Isumi took over. "I will have you know that drugs are VERY unhealthy and you are NOT to touch ANY!! So get over your addiction!" **(I don't know HOW this speech could be effective at all, but HEY!!)**

Hikaru slapped his forehead. "I'm not a drug addict!"

Isumi and Waya turned to Akira. **(Let's ALL believe Touya!!)**

"He is!" he exclaimed.

Waya turned back to Hikaru, glaring. "We know you're lying, Shindo."

"No, no! I'm really not!"

"Then what is THAT?!" He pointed to the cigarette that Hikaru was holding. Isumi shook his head in shame. **(YOU'VE BEEN FOUND OUT!!!)**

"No, listen." Hikaru took a few breaths, trying to calm down. "Touya and I were in the woods looking for my ramen, right? Then Touya saw this cigarette on the ground and started freaking out because someone littered. But he refused to pick it up, so I did so that it could be thrown out. Then he accused me of doing drugs."

Again, Isumi and Waya turned to look at Akira.

"I wasn't going to pick it up!" he responded. "Cigarettes are gross!"

The two older pros groaned, realizing what had REALLY happened. **(I don't know exactly HOW they figured that out… it made sense at the time.)**

"Shindo, just… just throw it out," Isumi mumbled.

"THANK you!" Hikaru did so, then came back and hit Akira over the head with his fan. "You're such a wimp!" **(Yeah, what's wrong with you, Touya?!"**

"Ow!"

Waya walked over to Isumi's car, grumbling. Opening the trunk, he took out two cardboard boxes. "We're having dry cereal for breakfast."

Isumi cocked an eyebrow. "Why did we try to make a fire, then?" He gestured to their tiny, nanoscopic fire that went out a second later. **(Technically, nanoscopic isn't a word, because "scopic" indicates that it can be seen and things on the nano-scale cannot be seen. But I don't care, I use the word ANYWAY!)**

"Why not?" Waya shrugged. "So, we have two choices: Sugared Shougi Flakes or Granola Go O's!" **(It… would be… SO awesome if they made Go O's!!)**

"GO O'S!!" everyone shouted. "GO RULES!! SHOUGI DROOLS!!"

***

Back in Tokyo, Kaga's Spidey Shougi senses started tingling, but he paid no attention. **(Spidey Shougi senses… yeah… I don't know where THAT came from.) (Hey, wait. Kaga smokes!! But he's in Tokyo, so I doubt that he littered the campgrounds.)**

***

So everyone ate their Go O's and were happy because Go is the bomb. The were also very energized for the day ahead of them, because Go O's are a part of this complete breakfast!

Hikaru grabbed a handful of the cereal. "Touya, let's play a game with the Go O's!!"

"We don't have time!" Isumi quickly interjected. **(Hoorah!! Isumi has prevented the apocalypse yet again!!) **"We're going to hike up the mountain today!"

"What mountain?" the young 'uns asked. **(Young 'uns… hehehe.)**

"The one that nobody noticed until now, over there!" He pointed east, and - lo and behold! - there was a GIANT mountain and everyone wondered why they didn't notice it before. **(Because… I only JUST decided that it was there!!)**

"We're climbing up _that_ in a day?" Akira asked incredulously **(SAT word #1!!)**.

Isumi laughed. "No, in HALF a day! We'll spend the other half climbing DOWN. It isn't as big as it looks, so we'll be able to reach the top in time for lunch."

"YAY!!!" everyone cheered. **(At this point my mind went blank and I abandoned mi cuaderno for a month. Observe my skills of breaking writers' block.)**

So everyone packed up and went to the mountain. **(HOO-RAH!!)**

"All right!" Isumi exclaimed as everyone stood at the foot of the mountain. "Now, let's climb that mountain!!" **(He's being WAY too excited about climbing a mountain.)**

"YEAH!!" everyone cheered.

"Hold it!" said a voice. They all turned around to see a man with a long nose, big lips, eyelashes, and curly dark hair. He wore a cap, goggles, brown overalls, **(Can you guess who it is?) **and a nametag that read "Hello! My name is Captain Usopp-sama!!!!!!" **(Yes, he NEEDED all six exclamation points!)**

Everyone stared. Waya leaned towards Isumi. "Hey, Isumi-san. Is this becoming a crossover or something…?" **(I swear, this is the ONLY time that I'll have a character from another series show up.)**

Isumi shrugged. "I don't know. I think it's just a cameo." **(Waya is a medium. Isumi is too, sort of, because of his magical powers that he learned in China.) **Then he turned to Captain Usopp-sama. "Um… can we go up the mountain, please?"

Captain Usopp-sama shook his head. "You have to pay a toll to climb this mountain!"

He sighed. "All right, how much?"

"Ten berries each." **(Berries ARE the currency in One Piece… right?)**

Everyone stood there for a moment. "Um… we have yen, is that okay?"

"NO!! The payment MUST be in berries!!"

Everyone briefly considered challenging him to a game of Go for their right to go up the mountain **(They're Go pros, what did you EXPECT?!)**, but they quickly disregarded the thought, since it would have SURELY taken too long.

Akira sighed. "Look, if you let us play in yen, we'll… ahh… bow to you like a king."

"Hmm…" Captain Usopp-sama rubbed his chin. "All right. Just because I'm the camp manager." **(All right, THIS needs explanation. See, at the Girl Scout camp I mentioned in chapter 1, there was a camp manager. [That's sort of a given.] You couldn't really tell if she was male or female… anyway, I later saw Usopp and realized that the two of them look almost exactly alike. Thus, Usopp earned his title as camp manager. The end.)**

"HOORAY!!" So everyone paid Captain Usopp-sama ten yen. **(Believe it or not, I typed out "Captain Usopp-sama" each and every time. I didn't do copy and paste. It was excruciating.)**

"Okay, now bow to me."

"NEVER!!" Then they all ran up the mountain, leaving Captain Usopp-sama in the dust. They laughed evilly the ENTIRE way up, because not only did they leave without bowing to Captain Usopp-sama, ten yen is only, like, eight cents. And that's pretty cheap. **(At this point I was considering doing a little "What if I had NOT done a crossover?" thing, where I rewrote this part of the story, except Touya's dad was the one demanding a toll. I decided against it.)**

Around noon they reached the summit **(SAT word #2!! That's all the SAT words for this chapter… sob.)**. Then they realized that they had foolishly been laughing for about three hours, so they stopped and abruptly sat down.

"Well, let's set up our picnic, shall we?" said Isumi.

Hikaru blanched. "A… picnic? Ugh… Last picnic I had was when I was eight, and Akari…" He shuddered. "It was horrible…" **(I have no idea what happened, either. It's a mystery.)**

"I haven't had a picnic since I was four," sighed Akira wistfully. "Otousan took me to have lunch at the park…" **(Warning: Touya remembers things… differently.)**

__

"Akira," said Touya Kouyo as he packed away their food, **(It took me… a LONG time to decide how to spell his name. I decided on this, even though both "o" sounds are supposed to be elongated, because it looks better.) **_"now that we are done with lunch, let us have a nice, rousing game of Go." _**("Let us also brew a nice hot pot of tea and have a tea party!")**

__

Akira nodded and took a giant goban out of a picnic basket that was surely too small to carry it. He and his father **(Because of my indecisiveness regarding his name, I only used it ONCE.) **_began playing, but not three moves into the game a four-year-old Hikaru jumped out of the bushes. _**(GASP!!!)**

__

"Go is stupid! It's for old men!!" He pointed at Akira's father. "Like you!!" **(How rude!!) **_Then he kicked the goban over, scattering the stones everywhere._

"Hey!!" shouted little Akira, as Hikaru ran off cackling evilly. **(Kouyo was also sobbing in the background for being called an old man, but I didn't mention that.)**

"My memory!! That's not how it happened!!" **(A subtle Kodomo no Omocha reference here… apparently… I guess… sort of…) **Akira glared at Hikaru. "Shindo, why must you ALWAYS show up in my daydreams?!?" **(…)**

Isumi and Waya, in the process of setting up, froze, and Hikaru stared at Akira strangely. "…_I'm_ in your _daydreams_, Touya…?" **(XD)**

A blush crept across Akira's face as he realized what he had said. "Not like that!! I mean that you are always messing up my thoughts!!" **(Hehehe…)**

Still, nobody moved. **(I have a rather… simple writing style. -_-)**

"…Touya…"

"Oh, just forget it, Shindo!!" He stomped off and sat facing a tree, fuming. **(Hmm… déjà vu…)**

"Touya!!" Hikaru stomped over to him. "I don't appreciate you copying me like that!!" **(Oh, THAT'S right!!)**

Akira glared up at the other boy. "I'm not copying you, Shindo!!"

"_I'm_ the one with the moping tree!!"

"Well, I'm not moping!! I'm fuming, there's a difference!!!" **(There most certainly IS!!!)**

Isumi and Waya sighed, shaking their heads, and continued to set up for their picnic. **(But once they get all that arguing out of their systems…)**

***

"Shindo-kun, could you please pass the salt?"

"Why, certainly, Touya-kun!"

Hikaru and Akira chuckled warmly, flowers, hearts and bubbles surrounding them. **(I drew a picture of this, actually. It's on my DeviantART account. You can find the URL in my ff.net profile if you so wish to see the very scary picture…) **Isumi and Waya, observing this spectacle, fidgeted uncomfortably.

Hikaru sighed and gazed at the bright blue sky. "Isn't it just a lovely day, Touya-kun?"

"Yes, very much so, Shindo-kun!" Akira picked up a plate and held it out to Hikaru. "Have you tried the deviled eggs, Shindo-kun? They're absolutely _devine_, Shindo-kun!!" **(This is actually kind of scaring me…)**

"Uh, Touya," Isumi ventured, "those aren't deviled eggs. Those are just plain onigiri…" **(Not onigiri as in Zoro's [One Piece] attack. Onigiri as in rice balls…)**

"Oh, thank you, Touya-kun!" Hikaru took a 'deviled egg' and ate it happily. "Yes, Touya-kun, these ARE delicious! Have you tried the roast beef, Touya-kun?" He gestured towards a bag of potato chips.

"No, I have not, Shindo-kun!" Akira took a chip and ate it. "Oh, Shindo-kun, how delightful!"

Waya gritted his teeth. "All right, spill, you two! What the HELL is going on here?!" **(That's what I'D like to know!!)**

Hikaru and Akira turned to look at Waya, eyes glittering. **(This is pretty scary-looking… when you imagine it…) **"Whatever could you be talking about, Waya?"

He slapped his forehead. "Five minutes ago, you two were fighting about a damn tree. Now you're acting like you're the best of friends or something!!"

Akira giggled. "Why, that's because Shindo-kun and I _are_ the best of friends, Waya!" **("DUH!!")**

"Yes, yes," Hikaru nodded. "How correct you are, Touya-kun!"

"Aren't I always, Shindo-kun?"

"Of course, Touya-kun!"

"This is ridiculous," Waya grumbled. "What the hell did you put in their food, Isumi-san?"

Isumi put up his hands. "I had nothing to do with this. They were like this when they sat down to lunch." **(Yeah, I doubt Isumi would be that evil…)**

"Can't you fix it?!" **(Of course!! Isumi-san can fix EVERYTHING!! From a broken heart… to a broken swing.)**

Isumi paused, then walked over and took Hikaru's fan. **(Only because it hadn't been mentioned in a while.)**

Hikaru froze. "Oh, how dreadful, Touya-kun! Isumi-san has taken my fan, Touya-kun!"

"Fear not, Shindo-kun!" Akira stood up. "I'll get your fan back for you, Shindo-kun!!" **(Akira the superhero!!) **He slipped the fan back out of Isumi's hand and gave it to Hikaru. "For you, Shindo-kun!"

"Oh, Touya-kun! How can I ever repay you, Touya-kun?!" **(It sounds pretty weird when they HAVE to say each other's names in EVERY sentence.)**

"Just promise to be my best friend forever, Shindo-kun."

"Oh, I will, Touya-kun, of course!" **(Heh… yeah right.)**

Isumi shrugged and sat back down next to Waya as the two boys continued giggling.

"What was _that_ supposed to do?" asked Waya.

"I thought that maybe, if I took Shindo's fan away, he'd break down and then Touya would start yelling at him that it's just a stupid fan." **(It made sense at the TIME!!)**

"Well, it didn't work." **(Let's state the obvious!!)**

"Obviously."

They sat there for a few more minutes, watching the hearts and bubbles, before Isumi stood up again, clapping his hands.

"Okay, everyone, let's climb down the mountain now!"

"Whaaaat?" Hikaru pouted. "I wanted to look at the beautiful scenery with Touya-kun some more!" **(Make of it what you will.)**

Akira nodded. "Yes, I wanted to look at the scenery with Shindo-kun as well!"

"Too bad!" Waya grabbed the two boys by their ears as Isumi packed up at lightspeed, using his magical powers that he learned in China. **(HOORAH!!!!!!)**

Or not. **(Hmm… to have powers or to NOT have powers…)**

"Oh, Touya-kun, isn't this just dreadful?" sighed Hikaru as he was dragged along the ground.

"Yes, it certainly is, Shindo-kun," Akira agreed. "But I don't mind as long as I'm being dragged with you, Shindo-kun!"

"I feel the same way, Touya-kun!"

And the two boys giggled happily. **(EEHEHEHEHEHE!!!)**

***

"Goddammit, Touya, that's MY side of the tent!!" **(Well… you knew it couldn't last for TOO long…)**

"Don't be an idiot, Shindo, your side is THAT one!"

Isumi and Waya sighed. "I can't decide which I liked better," Isumi groaned.

"This is really getting on my nerves, Isumi-san."

"Well, it's only…" Isumi counted on his fingers. "Five more days…" **(It's a week-long camping trip!!)**

Waya hung his head. "I want to go home."

"So do I, Waya… so do I…"

Akira suddenly fell out of the tent. "Ow!"

"Haha!!" Hikaru stuck his head out of the tent-flap. "Now the ENTIRE tent belongs to me! Sucks to be you, Touya!!"

"Shindo!!" Akira banged his fists on the tent, sobbing. "Let me in!!" **(He COULD just open the flap by himself, but he's gone back into wimp mode.)**

Isumi sighed again. "I'm getting to bed." **(They decided to skip dinner, by the way.)**

"Me too."

"SHINNNNNNNNNNNNNDOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" **(Actually… that ended kind of abruptly. But I think it's long enough.)**


	5. Canoeing and the Big City

2.4.04 - You know, I COULD give some lame excuse as to why I haven't updated in over four months…  
So I will. See, when I had posted up the second chapter, I already had quite a bit of the third chapter written on about… ten pieces of looseleaf. BUT I had to spend all my time writing college essays, as I am a HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR!!!!!!!, so I wasn't able to type it up. Finally, I get all my essays out, I get accepted to Bryn Mawr, which is good because that's the only college I applied to/considered applying to, and then I had to work on a lot of schoolwork. THEN come Winter Vacation, I decide to start writing this again. HOORAH!!  
And… I SWEAR that I had filed those pieces of looseleaf away. I swear! But I couldn't find it anyway… so I had to rewrite it completely. ._. But I suppose it's better now. In the original version, Wimpy Akira was present about 99% of the time. Hahaha…  
But, recently, I wrote out an outline of what I'm planning to be the rest of the fic, so I MIGHT be updating more often now… MAYBE. Knowing me, you wouldn't want to hold me to that. ^^;;  
(PS- I'm trying to make a HikaGo roleplaying LJ thing. But so far I'm the only member. XD I have a link to my Hikaru journal in my profile if you're interested. ^^;;)

I attempt to bash Isumi throughout this entire chapter. Fear me.

"Disclaimer": I own Hikaru no Go!!

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The Camping Trip of DOOM!!  
By Umeko  
Chapter One: "Canoeing and the Big City"

Fortunately, as soon as he calmed down, Akira figured out that it is fairly easy to open a cloth tent. So, he was able to go to bed as well, giving his goban a hug before drifting into sleep.

And everyone slept until noon the next day.

__

Unfortunately, sleeping until noon was not part of Isumi's plan.

"Wake up, everyone!!" Isumi kicked Hikaru and Akira's tent over, making them tumble out of their sleeping bags.

"Ow, Isumi-san!" Hikaru crawled out of the capsized tent, rubbing his head. "That hurt, ya know!"

"We slept LATE!!" Scowling, Isumi pointed up. The sun was high in the sky and - GASP!! NOTHING HAD A SHADOW!!!

Because it was noon.

Then Hikaru noticed something. "Hey, my ramen is back!!" With a cheer, he began shimmying up the tree to where his huge bag of ramen was hanging once again.

Waya appeared next to Isumi. "Okay… that was a little weird."

"Yeah…"

"Agh! Isumi-san!!" Akira rushed out of the tent, pointing an accusing finger at the older boy. "You made me lose my goban, didn't you?!"

Isumi stared at him. "…What?"

"My goban is _gone_! I bet it fell out of the tent when you kicked it!"

"I… I… No!!"

"I hate you, Isumi-san!!"

SHOCK!! There was… well, a shocked silence.

"You… hate me?"

"Yes!" Akira sobbed.

Hikaru, observing this ordeal from his perch in the tree, smirked. "Oi, Touya!" he called. "Are you crying over a stupid goban?!"

Akira glared up at his rival. "How can you _say_ that, Shindo?! That was my goban!!"

"Well, jeez, I understand your passion for Go, because it's the same as mine." Hikaru laughed like a snooty rich person before continuing the taunting. "But still, it's just a goban!!"

"Shin-"

"Okay, you two, let's go!" Isumi suddenly called from a river that they hadn't noticed before. "The canoe is ready, so come on!"

The two stared. "Uh… what's going on?"

"We're going CANOEING!!!!" he replied, waaaaaayyy too enthusiastically.

Akira gaped at the river as Hikaru climbed back down to ground-level. "What about my goban?"

"Not now, we're behind schedule!"

"Okay!" Hikaru ran towards the canoe with his bag on his back.

Waya slapped his forehead. "Shindo, we're not taking your ramen."

"But… but… WHYYYY???"

"Because," Akira said, popping up behind Hikaru, "I can't bring my goban and it's not fair if you can bring your ramen."

"Um… yeah, it's also too big."

Hikaru rolled his eyes. "Touya, we can't help it if your goban spontaneously combusted."

Akira's face suddenly darkened. "It… what? YOU SET IT ON FIRE, SHINDO?!!"

"Um…" Hikaru dropped the ramen and held up his hands defensively. "No, I didn't! I said _spontaneously_…"

"Then _Isumi-san_ burned it…"

"No, no! Dude, Touya, your goban did not burn up!"

"But you said-"

"I was kidding, jeez!!"

"If that's the case, that happened to it?"

"How the hell am I- Hey!" Hikaru looked around, noticing that he and the others were suddenly in the canoe, in the water. "What…?!"

Akira peered over the edge of the canoe. "How very odd… How did this happen?"

Grinning, Waya pointed to Isumi and himself. "While _you_ two were busy arguing, _we_ carried you into the canoe and pushed off. So just sit back and relax."

The two younger boys didn't do so, however, because they had noticed that an essential component in canoeing was missing.

"Waya… where are the oars?"

Isumi and Waya looked at each other, then shrugged. "We don't need oars. We're going downstream."

"What kind of logic is _that_?!" Akira slapped his forehead. "Shindo, use your fan as a paddle…"

"What? No!!" Hikaru hugged his fan close.

"Touya, relax!" Waya snapped. "It's just a straight route downstream!"

So they sat quietly for a while. Finally, Hikaru announced, "I'm hungry!"

"So am I!" Waya agreed.

Isumi thought about this. "Well, we haven't eaten at all today… but we don't have any food on the canoe…"

"WHAT?!"

Just then, by some freak coincidence, they ran up upon land, where there was a little shack. Everyone blinked.

"Um… Isumi-san?" Waya finally spoke up. "Where are we?"

"I… don't know…"

Akira climbed out of the boat and went to inspect a piece of posterboard that was stuck in the ground. "This sign says, 'Hot Dogs and Root Beer Floats Here!' "

"HOORAH!!!" Everyone cheered and ran into the little shack.

***

Kurata looked towards the door as four boys entered. "Oh! Shindo-kun!"

Hikaru jumped. "Ku… Kurata-san!! What are you here for?!"

"Well, this is _my_ little shack of hot dogs and root beer floats!" He laughed like Kurata, because that's who he is.

"Uh…" Akira paused, then continued. "Why do you have a little shack in the middle of a river in the middle of nowhere?"

"It's a little shack of_ hot dogs and root beer floats_, Touya-kun!"

"Um, right, but that still doesn't answer-"

"So! Are you boys hungry?!"

"YEAH!!!" Hikaru and Waya cheered.

So they all got hot dogs and root beer floats, but they couldn't get root beer without the ice cream because Kurata said so. And they didn't have to pay, either, because Kurata said that he would soon be a title holder and would get PLENTY of money then!!!

AND I'M A LAZY BUM!!!

Afterwards, the four pros left and went on their way down the river once again!!

***

Another half-hour down the river and the four boys were bored again. They had, quite stupidly, not taken anything on the canoe with them, after all, and had absolutely nothing to do. So they were forced to merely stare at the water, the shrubbery, or each other.

Finally, Akira broke the silence. "Hey, Isumi-san? What river is this that we're on?"

"Huh? What river?" Isumi blinked and thought for a moment. "Umm… this is the Sai River."

"SAI!?!!" the other three exclaimed.

"Uh… yeah… wh- oh, _that_…"

Waya flailed his arms. "You talk about it like it's nothing, Isumi-san!!"

"Well, I'm really not into that Net Go stuff, you know…"

"N- neither am I!!" Hikaru added quickly, gripping his fan.

"Hmm…" Akira put a finger to his cheek in thought. "Sai the legendary Internet player… and the Sai River… could there be some sort of connection…?"

"Hey, yeah…" Waya paused. "Maybe Sai lives on the Sai river…!!"

Hikaru let out a laugh, but looked away when they turned to him.

"So… we could be close to Sai right now!"

"Wow… that's rather eerie…"

"Oh, wait!" Waya pounded his fist into his palm. "Shindo said that he happened to pass by Sai in a Net Café, so that's probably not the case…"

Akira whipped around to look at his rival. "You passed by Sai, Shindo?!"

"Ah… ah, yeah, I guess I did… b- but I didn't see his face… or anything…"

Waya and Akira peered at Hikaru suspiciously for a moment.

"Uhh… hey, what's that?!" Hikaru pointed across the river with his fan. The other three turned to look, to see a man walking along the bank…

"Oh dear lord!" Isumi quickly blocked the eyes of the younger pros so as not to scar them for life. "Don't look!"

"H- hey! Isumi-san!!" Waya tried to push Isumi away, but to no avail. "What the heck is it?!"

"DON'T… LOOK!!!"

"What the hell is it, Isumi-san?!!"

"SHH!!" Isumi leaned his face closer to the others'. "It's some fat naked man just walking around on the edge of the river. Don't look!!"

Akira cocked an eyebrow. "You're obviously not telling the truth." So he pushed Isumi away and… "Oh god, my eyes!!"

"I told you not to look!!"

"Well, yeah, but you should KNOW that telling us that just makes us want to look more…"

Finally, the river began to be lined with shrubbery, obscuring the man from view. Sighing in relief, Isumi uncovered everyone's eyes.

Hikaru grunted. "That wasn't very fun, Isumi-san."

"Well, sorry."

"Hey, Touya…" Waya snickered, "wouldn't it be creepy if THAT was Sai?"

"Ew, don't say that…"

"It wasn't!!" Hikaru objected, then covered his mouth. "I mean… not that I'd know…"

There was a pause.

"Hey…" Akira spoke up, "when and how are we going to get back upstream?"

"Ah…" Isumi opened his mouth to talk, but stopped. "I… don't know."

"You don't know?!"

"…No."

Waya laughed nervously. "Well, let's just wait until we come across land and see how it goes from there!"

So the four sat around for a while more, listening to the river gently lapping against the outside of the canoe.

"Isumi-san, this is really boring," Hikaru whined after a few minutes.

Isumi sighed. "Well, sorry."

"Live with it," Waya added.

There was yet another pause. "Can me and Touya sing a song?"

"Yeah, yeah!!" Akira beamed. "I wanna sing a song with Shindo!"

Waya stared at them, perplexed. "…Go ahead…"

Grinning, Hikaru and Akira took a deep breath and then began screaming at the top of their lungs. "NINETY-NINE BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL! NINETY-NINE BOTTLES OF BEER!! TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND! NINETY-EIGHT BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL!! NINETY-EIGHT BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL…"

The older two groaned and attempted to concentrate on something besides their ruptured ear drums.

***

Twenty minutes later, Waya had (somehow) fallen asleep and Isumi was massaging a throbbing migraine.

"SEVENTEEN BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL! SEVENTEEN BOTTLES OF BEER!! TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND! SIXTEEN BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL!! SIXTEEN BOTTLES OF-"

"Okay, that's enough!" Isumi interrupted. "Do you have _any_ idea how _annoying_ that is?!"

"Aw, Isumi-san!!" Hikaru and Akira whined. "We were almost done!!"

"You were _not_ almost done!"

Akira sighed. "Well, comparatively… anyway, you made us lose count, so we have to start all over again!"

"NO!" Isumi shouted urgently. "Just… please, just don't…"

"Stingy," Hikaru pouted.

"Wha…?!"

"Well… can we sing 'Five Little Ducks'?" Akira suggested.

"…Fine. You can sing 'Five Little Ducks.' "

"Hooray!!" the younger boys cheered before beginning their song. "Five little ducks went out one day, over the hills and far away! Mother Duck said QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK!!!… AND NINETY-NINE OF THE LITTLE BABY DUCKS CAME BACK!!!"

"WAIT A SECOND!" Isumi quickly cut off the screaming. "What's this 'ninety-nine little ducks came back' deal?!"

"Well, ACTUALLY…" Hikaru started, flailing his arms, "the song is ACTUALLY called 'A Hundred Little Ducks'!! So that's what we're singing!!"

Isumi was silent for a moment. "You can't sing that song. Sing something else."

There was a pause before Hikaru and Akira started screaming again. "THIS IS THE SONG THAT DOESN'T END!! YES IT-"

"Different song!"

"I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NER-"

"No!"

"IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER-"

"Dear God, no!"

Akira sighed exasperatedly. "Well, what are we SUPPOSED to sing?!"

"I changed my mind!" Isumi snapped. "You two are not allowed to sing!"

Suddenly, there was a large jolt and the four boys were nearly thrown out of the canoe. Actually, Waya WAS thrown out of the canoe, because he was in a state of unconsciousness at the time.

"Ow!!" Waya, who was roughly awakened by landing on a rocky shore, rubbed his head. "What the hell happened?!"

"Whee, we're on land!" Hikaru jumped out of the canoe and looked around. "Isumi-san, where are we?"

Isumi pulled a map out of nowhere and inspected it carefully. "…I think we're in Nagano."

Climbing out as well, Akira looked at the sky, which had until that point been blocked out by trees and such. "Wow… it's getting pretty late. The sun is setting already."

"That's obvious, Touya!!"

"Waya, get your face out of the rocks, I can't take you seriously like that."

Waya pushed himself into a sitting position, grunting irritably. "Okay, so what? We're in Nagano, what are we gonna do?"

"Let's get dinner!" Hikaru declared, raising his fist in the air.

"Actually, first, we should check into a hotel," Isumi said, folding up his map that may or may not appear again. "Okay, you three, let's go!!"

The four Go pros marched off into the city and spent all their money renting a GRAND room at a five-star hotel! Well, it wasn't TOO grand… it was a room with two queen-sized beds that they'd have to share. And a huge color television with cable and a huge bathroom and a vending machine RIGHT OUTSIDE!! AND… there was a beautiful view of the Sai River.

Okay, so it WAS a grand room.

Then they decided to eat dinner, but that was when the realized that they had very little money left. So, they went to the FAVORITE food chain of ALL Insei and Go pros…

NcDonald's!!! WOO!!!

Waya sighed wistfully, looking around the fast-food restaurant. "Oh, Shindo, Isumi-san, this brings back great memories of our Insei days, doesn't it?"

"Yes, indeed," Isumi answered, wiping a tear from his eye.

Hikaru stared at the two for a minute before shaking his head in shame. "Well, it looks like me and you are the only sane ones here, Touya…" He turned to his rival, only to notice that Akira was tugging on his sleeve, smiling brightly. "…What the hell?"

"Shindo, Shindo, look!!" Akira pointed to the Playplace, which was full of snot-nosed two-and-three-year-olds. "Shindo, go into the balls with me!!"

Hikaru nearly fell to the floor. "You're kidding, right?! You want to go in _there_?!"

Akira nodded cheerfully. "Yup!"

"You realize that we're almost sixteen, right?"

"So?"

"Argh! Waya, Isumi-san, help me out here!!" He spun on his heel, only to see that Waya and Isumi were in line to order food, reminiscing with each other about being Insei and going to NcDonald's. "Agh!!"

"Come on, Shindo!!" Akira dragged Hikaru into the Playplace area, knocking down a few screaming kids on the way. But he didn't care, and neither did the little kids. They were too preoccupied with screaming their lungs out.

"Uh-uh, no way, Touya!" Hikaru wrenched his arm from the other boy's grasp and glared at the tiny children, for they offended him so. "I am NOT going into that… that… THING with you!"

Akira blinked. "No colored balls?"

"No!"

"Then how about the tubes?" He pointed to the colored plastic tube structure that reached to the SKY!!!!… but really only to the top of their heads, since they were oh-so-much too old to be in the Playplace.

Hikaru glared at the tubes, since they offended him as well. Heck, everything in the Playplace offended him! "YOU can go into the tubes by yourself if you really want to, because frankly, that would be hilarious. But there is no way in HELL that you're getting ME up there."

Akira pouted. "Aww… but…"

"Hey, you two!!" Waya called into the Playplace, obviously trying to suppress his laughter. "What are you doing in there? We have your food!!"

"Yay!!" Akira exited the Playplace and Hikaru silently thanked all the holy figures in Heaven for preventing him from any further humiliation.

"So what did you order for us?" Hikaru asked as the four of them sat down at a horribly greasy table covered in crumbs.

"We knew what you wanted, since you were an Insei with us," Isumi said, wiping away another tear. "But we didn't know what Touya wanted…"

"So we got him a kids' meal," Waya finished, grinning smugly.

Akira glared at him. "You got me a what?"

"What, you're back to normal now?" Waya asked, amusement evident on his face.

"When was I ever NOT normal?"

"Um, try two minutes ago," Hikaru answered. "You tried to drag ME into that retarded Playplace with you."

"B-but Shindo!!" Akira exclaimed, eyes shimmering. "The Playplace is such a WONDERFUL place!"

Groaning, Hikaru turned away from his rival. "Just shut up and eat, Touya."

So they all ate and they had a GRAND ol' time! Waya and Isumi continued to reminisce about being Insei, and Hikaru joined in every so often. Akira didn't, however, since his was so ABOVE them Insei. He just played with the cheap toy that he got with his food.

***

"Okay, everyone, let's get to bed!" Isumi announced as soon as they returned to their room. "Shindo, Touya, you're both sharing a bed, so please try to get along. You have such a good record going for today. And NO ONE is going to sleep until noon tomorrow!!"

"Yes, Isumi-san…" the younger three droned tonelessly.

"OKAYLIGHTSOUT!!" Isumi pounded the light switch and the room was plunged into darkness. "Everyone to bed!!"

"Uh… Isumi-san?" Waya's voice said. "We still have to get ready for bed. Now we can't see. Turn the light back on."

"Oh, right." There was a pause before Isumi said, "Um, actually, I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"I think I broke the light switch."

"…Oh, whatever. We'll just not be hygienic tonight and go to bed with our clothes on and our teeth not brushed, then?"

"Yeah, that sounds good." There was a pause. "How come Shindo and Touya are so quiet?"

"Uh… I guess they fell asleep already?"

"Probably. Well, we should turn in as well, then."

And with that, they went to bed.

Little did Isumi know, however, that Hikaru and Akira were certainly NOT asleep. And the next morning he would be very surprised to find a huge bill for late-night room service and Pay-Per-View.

Reviews, reviews!!!

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kireira- Indeed, it took another few months… sigh. I'd say to not expect that for chapter four, but I don't trust myself anymore. ._.

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Lauren-sama- *beams* I'm glad people don't mind the long breaks. ^^;; And that cigarette? Hmm… I don't know. We might find out next chapter, but maybe not…

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magnhild- Shush, you!

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Halcyon Clouds- Geh… they actually didn't fight much in this chapter!! :O That wasn't on purpose. And Hikaru got his ramen back, as you know. :3

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The Merciless Torturer- ^^ Thanks!

****

Hitori- Wow, I got a review only a month ago? :O Congrats, you were probably the one who got me back on track! XD


	6. Canoeing and the Big City w Writer Comme...

"Disclaimer": I own Hikaru no Go!!** (I want to clear this up right now before I get in trouble. I don't REALLY own Hikaru no Go, but if you're smart, you should have been able to figure that out for yourself. I just think disclaimers are pointless and unnecessary in _fan_fiction.)**

The Camping Trip of DOOM!!  
By Umeko  
Chapter One: "Canoeing and the Big City"

Fortunately, as soon as he calmed down, Akira figured out that it is fairly easy to open a cloth tent. So, he was able to go to bed as well, giving his goban a hug before drifting into sleep.

And everyone slept until noon the next day. **(HOORAH!!)**

__

Unfortunately, sleeping until noon was not part of Isumi's plan. **(OH NO!!)**

"Wake up, everyone!!" Isumi kicked Hikaru and Akira's tent over **(Isumi is quite a bit out of character in this chapter, almost to the point of being violent.)**, making them tumble out of their sleeping bags.

"Ow, Isumi-san!" Hikaru crawled out of the capsized tent, rubbing his head. "That hurt, ya know!"

"We slept LATE!!" Scowling, Isumi pointed up. The sun was high in the sky and - GASP!! NOTHING HAD A SHADOW!!! **(I was going to pretend to go ballistic because the apocalypse had come because nothing had a shadow but I thought that was a bit extreme.)**

Because it was noon.

Then Hikaru noticed something. "Hey, my ramen is back!!" **(Hooray!!) **With a cheer, he began shimmying up the tree to where his huge bag of ramen was hanging once again.

Waya appeared **(POOF!!) **next to Isumi. "Okay… that was a little weird."

"Yeah…"

"Agh! Isumi-san!!" Akira rushed out of the tent, pointing an accusing finger at the older boy. "You made me lose my goban, didn't you?!"

Isumi stared at him. "…What?"

"My goban is _gone_! **(NOOOOO!!!!) **I bet it fell out of the tent when you kicked it!"

"I… I… No!!"

"I hate you, Isumi-san!!" **(GASP!!!)**

SHOCK!! There was… well, a shocked silence. **(Because NO ONE hates Isumi. It's practically impossible.)**

"You… hate me?"

"Yes!" Akira sobbed.

Hikaru, observing this ordeal from his perch in the tree, smirked. "Oi, Touya!" he called. "Are you crying over a stupid goban?!"

Akira glared up at his rival. "How can you _say_ that, Shindo?! That was my goban!!"

"Well, jeez, I understand your passion for Go, because it's the same as mine." Hikaru laughed like a snooty rich person **(Ummm… yeah.)** before continuing the taunting. "But still, it's just a goban!!"

"Shin-"

"Okay, you two, let's go!" Isumi suddenly called from a river that they hadn't noticed before. **(In case you can't tell, I didn't really plan the story out. The rest is planned out, though, so never fear!!) **"The canoe is ready, so come on!"

The two stared. "Uh… what's going on?"

"We're going CANOEING!!!!" he replied, waaaaaayyy too enthusiastically. **(I mean, really. It's ONLY canoeing!!)**

Akira gaped at the river as Hikaru climbed back down to ground-level. "What about my goban?"

"Not now, we're behind schedule!" **(…Yes. There is a schedule.)**

"Okay!" Hikaru ran towards the canoe with his bag on his back.

Waya slapped his forehead. "Shindo, we're not taking your ramen."

"But… but… WHYYYY???"

"Because," Akira said, popping up behind Hikaru, "I can't bring my goban and it's not fair if you can bring your ramen." **(Duh.)**

"Um… yeah, it's also too big." **(Duh… again.)**

Hikaru rolled his eyes. "Touya, we can't help it if your goban spontaneously combusted."

Akira's face suddenly darkened. "It… what? YOU SET IT ON FIRE, SHINDO?!!" **(Oops, Hikaru shouldn't have said that. XD)**

"Um…" Hikaru dropped the ramen and held up his hands defensively. "No, I didn't! I said _spontaneously_…" **(Meaning that it just randomly burst into flames because it FELT like it.)**

"Then _Isumi-san_ burned it…"

"No, no! Dude, Touya, your goban did not burn up!"

"But you said-"

"I was kidding, jeez!!"

"If that's the case, that happened to it?" **(Because Hikaru is supposed to know everything. I don't know what that logic is, but hey.)**

"How the hell am I- Hey!" Hikaru looked around, noticing that he and the others were suddenly in the canoe, in the water. "What…?!" **(I'm not very good at transitions. XD)**

Akira peered over the edge of the canoe. "How very odd… How did this happen?"

Grinning, Waya pointed to Isumi and himself. "While _you_ two were busy arguing, _we_ carried you into the canoe and pushed off. **(A good idea, really.) **So just sit back and relax."

The two younger boys didn't do so, however, because they had noticed that an essential component in canoeing was missing. **(Can you guess what it was?)**

"Waya… where are the oars?"

Isumi and Waya looked at each other, then shrugged. "We don't need oars. We're going downstream."

"What kind of logic is _that_?!" Akira slapped his forehead. "Shindo, use your fan as a paddle…"

"What? No!!" Hikaru hugged his fan close. **(Why WOULD he?! It's his precious fan that surprisingly doesn't show up again in this chapter! Wait… Okay, it does. But not much.)**

"Touya, relax!" Waya snapped. "It's just a straight route downstream!"

So they sat quietly for a while. Finally, Hikaru announced, "I'm hungry!" **("HARAHETAAAA!!")**

"So am I!" Waya agreed.

Isumi thought about this. "Well, we haven't eaten at all today… but we don't have any food on the canoe…" **(Smart.)**

"WHAT?!"

Just then, by some freak coincidence** (Haha, yeah right.)**, they ran up upon land, where there was a little shack. Everyone blinked.

"Um… Isumi-san?" Waya finally spoke up. "Where are we?"

"I… don't know…" **(BUT ISUMI IS SUPPOSED TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS TRIP!!!)**

Akira climbed out of the boat and went to inspect a piece of posterboard that was stuck in the ground. "This sign says, 'Hot Dogs and Root Beer Floats Here!' " **(Okay, this is sort of real. But not really. When I was little, like maybe… ten years ago, my family and I rode down the Delaware River in inner tubes. It was really long and boring but at one point we came across this little island that was selling hot dogs or something. And my dad got his foot pinched by a clam. And the root beer floats… my brother, who is a Boy Scout, went on some sort of whitewater rafting trip and they came across some little diner on a little island or on the riverbank or something. So my brother bought a root beer float. I'm sure that's not all that was sold at the diner, but that's all my brother bought. He actually bought… like… five.)**

"HOORAH!!!" Everyone cheered and ran into the little shack.

*** **(Mmm… hot chocolate… wait, what?!)**

Kurata **(GASP!!) **looked towards the door as four boys entered. "Oh! Shindo-kun!"

Hikaru jumped. "Ku… Kurata-san!! What are you here for?!"

"Well, this is _my_ little shack of hot dogs and root beer floats!" He laughed like Kurata, because that's who he is. **(Well, yeah.)**

"Uh…" Akira paused, then continued. "Why do you have a little shack in the middle of a river in the middle of nowhere?"

"It's a little shack of_ hot dogs and root beer floats_, Touya-kun!" **(Be specific or DIE!!)**

"Um, right, but that still doesn't answer-"

"So! Are you boys hungry?!"

"YEAH!!!" Hikaru and Waya cheered.

So they all got hot dogs and root beer floats, but they couldn't get root beer without the ice cream because Kurata said so. **(Originally there had been this really long and pointless thing where everyone individually ordered their food. But that was really long and stupid. But Isumi had gotten into an argument with Kurata because he wanted root beer without the ice cream. Kurata claimed that doing so was physically impossible.) **And they didn't have to pay, either, because Kurata said that he would soon be a title holder and would get PLENTY of money then!!! **(Some business.)**

AND I'M A LAZY BUM!!! **(Yeah, because… I just did another one of those write-everything-in-a-few-sentences-instead-of-taking-the-time-to-make-it-good paragraphs.)**

Afterwards, the four pros left and went on their way down the river once again!!

***

Another half-hour down the river and the four boys were bored again. They had, quite stupidly, not taken anything on the canoe with them, after all, and had absolutely nothing to do. So they were forced to merely stare at the water, the shrubbery, or each other. **(Staring at each other, though, would be rather… awkward.)**

Finally, Akira broke the silence. "Hey, Isumi-san? What river is this that we're on?"

"Huh? What river?" Isumi blinked and thought for a moment. "Umm… this is the Sai River." **(Saigawa!! Okay, so since they go to a city later on, I did some research on camping grounds in Japan and what cities they're near and all. I found Nagano and that looked a little promising, so I did more research on the city, and found out that there was a river called the Sai River. That settled it, of course. They're going to Nagano.)**

"SAI!?!!" the other three exclaimed.

"Uh… yeah… wh- oh, _that_…" **(Yeah, _that_…)**

Waya flailed his arms. "You talk about it like it's nothing, Isumi-san!!" **(Luigi said that it really was nothing. I'm not sure if I agree with her…)**

"Well, I'm really not into that Net Go stuff, you know…"

"N- neither am I!!" Hikaru added quickly, gripping his fan. **(Haha, Hikaru is suddenly a horrible liar! But he's supposed to be pretty good at lying… :P)**

"Hmm…" Akira put a finger to his cheek in thought. "Sai the legendary Internet player… and the Sai River… could there be some sort of connection…?"

"Hey, yeah…" Waya paused. "Maybe Sai lives on the Sai river…!!" **(MAYBE!!)**

Hikaru let out a laugh **("No, Sai lived in my HEAD!!")**, but looked away when they turned to him.

"So… we could be close to Sai right now!"

"Wow… that's rather eerie…"

"Oh, wait!" Waya pounded his fist into his palm. "Shindo said that he happened to pass by Sai in a Net Café **(Microsoft Word automatically put the accent in there. I considered taking it out, because it sort of annoyed me, but I decided not to.)**, so that's probably not the case…"

Akira whipped around to look at his rival. "You passed by Sai, Shindo?!"

"Ah… ah, yeah, I guess I did… b- but I didn't see his face… or anything…" **(See… Hikaru has to keep his lies consistent, or else they won't work.)**

Waya and Akira peered at Hikaru suspiciously for a moment.

"Uhh… hey, what's that?!" Hikaru pointed across the river with his fan. **(I think this is the last time that the fan shows up in this chapter.) **The other three turned to look, to see a man walking along the bank…

"Oh dear lord!" Isumi quickly blocked the eyes of the younger pros so as not to scar them for life. **(Responsible Isumi-san!!) **"Don't look!"

"H- hey! Isumi-san!!" Waya tried to push Isumi away, but to no avail. "What the heck is it?!"

"DON'T… LOOK!!!"

"What the hell is it, Isumi-san?!!"

"SHH!!" Isumi leaned his face closer to the others'. "It's some fat naked man just walking around on the edge of the river. Don't look!!"** (I wonder if I'll be able to write a single chapter of this without making some sort of reference to Girl Scout Camp… This didn't happen to ME, but there was a canoeing group and they went on a canoeing trip for about two days or something. One of the things that happened to them was that there was some guy [who may or may not have been fat] walking along the river completely naked. The counselors were really peeved about that because these were, like, twelve-year-old girls.)**

Akira cocked an eyebrow. "You're obviously not telling the truth." **(Because… how many people do THAT?!) **So he pushed Isumi away and… "Oh god, my eyes!!" **(Aww… not smart…)**

"I told you not to look!!"

"Well, yeah, but you should KNOW that telling us that just makes us want to look more…" **(It's only human nature, you know.)**

Finally, the river began to be lined with shrubbery, obscuring the man from view. Sighing in relief, Isumi uncovered everyone's eyes.

Hikaru grunted. "That wasn't very fun, Isumi-san." **(This trip is supposed to be FUN!!!)**

"Well, sorry."

"Hey, Touya…" Waya snickered, "wouldn't it be creepy if THAT was Sai?"

"Ew, don't say that…"

"It wasn't!!" Hikaru objected, then covered his mouth. "I mean… not that I'd know…" **(Hahaha…)**

There was a pause.

"Hey…" Akira spoke up, "when and how are we going to get back upstream?" **(I love how everyone just conveniently FORGOT what Hikaru had said.)**

"Ah…" Isumi opened his mouth to talk, but stopped. "I… don't know." **(ISUMI-SAN! THAT'S THE SECOND TIME THAT YOU HAVEN'T KNOWN SOMETHING!! IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL, WE'LL START TO LOSE FAITH IN YOU!!!)**

"You don't know?!"

"…No."

Waya laughed nervously. "Well, let's just wait until we come across land and see how it goes from there!"

So the four sat around for a while more, listening to the river gently lapping against the outside of the canoe. **(In which I attempt to be poetic.)**

"Isumi-san, this is really boring," Hikaru whined after a few minutes.

Isumi sighed. "Well, sorry."

"Live with it," Waya added.

There was yet another pause. "Can me and Touya sing a song?" **(XD)**

"Yeah, yeah!!" Akira beamed. "I wanna sing a song with Shindo!" **(XDXDXD)**

Waya stared at them, perplexed.** (Because… WHY would they want to sing TOGETHER?)** "…Go ahead…"

Grinning, Hikaru and Akira took a deep breath and then began screaming at the top of their lungs. "NINETY-NINE BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL! NINETY-NINE BOTTLES OF BEER!! TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND! NINETY-EIGHT BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL!! NINETY-EIGHT BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL…" **(THIS just amuses me to no end. I really want to see this happen even though it never will.)**

The older two groaned and attempted to concentrate on something besides their ruptured ear drums.

***

Twenty minutes later, Waya had (somehow) fallen asleep **(Truthfully, I just didn't feel like writing Waya in at that point.) **and Isumi was massaging a throbbing migraine.

"SEVENTEEN BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL! SEVENTEEN BOTTLES OF BEER!! TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND! SIXTEEN BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL!! SIXTEEN BOTTLES OF-"

"Okay, that's enough!" Isumi interrupted. "Do you have _any_ idea how _annoying_ that is?!" **(NO!! IT'S FUN!!!)**

"Aw, Isumi-san!!" Hikaru and Akira whined. "We were almost done!!"

"You were _not_ almost done!"

Akira sighed. "Well, comparatively… anyway, you made us lose count, so we have to start all over again!" **(YEAH!!)**

"NO!" Isumi shouted urgently. "Just… please, just don't…"

"Stingy," Hikaru pouted.

"Wha…?!"

"Well… can we sing 'Five Little Ducks'?" Akira suggested. **(This is more amusing than them singing 'Ninety-Nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall.')**

"…Fine. You can sing 'Five Little Ducks.' " **(There are ONLY FIVE little ducks, after all!!)**

"Hooray!!" the younger boys cheered before beginning their song. "Five little ducks went out one day, over the hills and far away! Mother Duck said QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK!!!… AND NINETY-NINE OF THE LITTLE BABY DUCKS CAME BACK!!!" **(Trout Fishing in America rocks my socks. :D)**

"WAIT A SECOND!" Isumi quickly cut off the screaming. "What's this 'ninety-nine little ducks came back' deal?!" **("HOW can ninety-nine ducks come back when ONLY FIVE left?!)**

"Well, ACTUALLY…" Hikaru started, flailing his arms, "the song is ACTUALLY called 'A Hundred Little Ducks'!! So that's what we're singing!!" **(HOORAH!!)**

Isumi was silent for a moment. "You can't sing that song. Sing something else."

There was a pause before Hikaru and Akira started screaming again. "THIS IS THE SONG THAT DOESN'T END!! YES IT-" **(GOES ON AND ON MY FRIEND!!!)**

"Different song!" **(Amazingly, Waya is STILL asleep!!)**

"I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NER-" **(VES! EVERYBODY'S NERVES! EVERYBODY'S NERVES!!)**

"No!"

"IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER-" **(ALL!!!)**

"Dear God, no!" **(ANYTHING but THAT!!)**

Akira sighed exasperatedly. "Well, what are we SUPPOSED to sing?!"

"I changed my mind!" Isumi snapped. "You two are not allowed to sing!" **(Aww… but they have such lovely voices…)**

Suddenly, there was a large jolt and the four boys were nearly thrown out of the canoe. Actually, Waya WAS thrown out of the canoe, because he was in a state of unconsciousness at the time. **(He was asleep, remember?)**

"Ow!!" Waya, who was roughly awakened by landing on a rocky shore, rubbed his head. "What the hell happened?!"

"Whee, we're on land!" Hikaru jumped out of the canoe and looked around. "Isumi-san, where are we?"

Isumi pulled a map **(HE HAD A MAP?!) **out of nowhere and inspected it carefully. "…I think we're in Nagano."

Climbing out as well, Akira looked at the sky, which had until that point been blocked out by trees and such. "Wow… it's getting pretty late. The sun is setting already."

"That's obvious, Touya!!" **(That was Waya.)**

"Waya, get your face out of the rocks, I can't take you seriously like that." **(That was Touya. I didn't know if I made that clear enough.)**

Waya pushed himself into a sitting position, grunting irritably. "Okay, so what? We're in Nagano, what are we gonna do?" **(What can we possibly do in a CITY?!)**

"Let's get dinner!" Hikaru declared, raising his fist in the air.

"Actually, first, we should check into a hotel," Isumi said, folding up his map that may or may not appear again. **(I mean… he really didn't need it before.) **"Okay, you three, let's go!!"

****

(Here's another one of my infamous stupid paragraphs!!) The four Go pros marched off into the city and spent all their money renting a GRAND room at a five-star hotel! Well, it wasn't TOO grand… it was a room with two queen-sized beds that they'd have to share. And a huge color television with cable and a huge bathroom and a vending machine RIGHT OUTSIDE!! AND… there was a beautiful view of the Sai River. **(I found a picture of the Sai River… but it really didn't look too beautiful. Poor Sai.)**

Okay, so it WAS a grand room.

Then they decided to eat dinner, but that was when the realized that they had very little money left. So, they went to the FAVORITE food chain of ALL Insei and Go pros…

NcDonald's!!! WOO!!! **(What? You CAN'T say that that's not their favorite place to eat! They're ALWAYS there!!)**

Waya sighed wistfully, looking around the fast-food restaurant. "Oh, Shindo, Isumi-san, this brings back great memories of our Insei days, doesn't it?"

"Yes, indeed," Isumi answered, wiping a tear from his eye. **("I remember… when I couldn't pass the Pro Exam… because… Ochi creeped me out…")**

Hikaru stared at the two for a minute before shaking his head in shame.** (He wasn't an Insei for THAT long, so he really can't be as sentimental as Waya and Isumi are.)** "Well, it looks like me and you are the only sane ones here, Touya…" He turned to his rival, only to notice that Akira was tugging on his sleeve, smiling brightly. **(GUESS WHO?! IT'S WIMPY AKIRA!!!) **"…What the hell?"

"Shindo, Shindo, look!!" Akira pointed to the Playplace **(McDonald's has a Playplace. So… NcDonald's does, too!!)**, which was full of snot-nosed two-and-three-year-olds. "Shindo, go into the balls with me!!"

Hikaru nearly fell to the floor. "You're kidding, right?! You want to go in _there_?!" **(I don't know where this came up, but I just thought it would be funny if Akira wanted to go into the Playplace.)**

Akira nodded cheerfully. "Yup!"

"You realize that we're almost sixteen, right?" **(I'm not sure when this fic takes place, really. Maybe the August after the Hokuto Cup, which would mean that Hikaru would be sixteen in a month, and Akira in four months…??)**

"So?"

"Argh! Waya, Isumi-san, help me out here!!" He spun on his heel, only to see that Waya and Isumi were in line to order food, reminiscing with each other about being Insei and going to NcDonald's. **(They were ignoring all the times when they were depressed because they were lowly Insei that couldn't pass the Pro Exam.) **"Agh!!"

"Come on, Shindo!!" Akira dragged Hikaru into the Playplace area, knocking down a few screaming kids on the way. But he didn't care, and neither did the little kids. They were too preoccupied with screaming their lungs out. **(I talk about these kids like they're robots or something. Like those creepy toy dogs that just walk around and bark.)**

"Uh-uh, no way, Touya!" Hikaru wrenched his arm from the other boy's grasp and glared at the tiny children, for they offended him so. "I am NOT going into that… that… THING with you!"

Akira blinked. "No colored balls?" **(I stuck the "colored" in there because it just sounded wrong otherwise.)**

"No!"

"Then how about the tubes?" He pointed to the colored plastic tube structure that reached to the SKY!!!!… but really only to the top of their heads, since they were oh-so-much too old to be in the Playplace.

Hikaru glared at the tubes, since they offended him as well. Heck, everything in the Playplace offended him! "YOU can go into the tubes by yourself if you really want to, because frankly, that would be hilarious. But there is no way in HELL that you're getting ME up there." **(I seriously considered having Hikaru actually go up there just so that he could get stuck. I'm so evil.)**

Akira pouted. "Aww… but…"

"Hey, you two!!" Waya called into the Playplace, obviously trying to suppress his laughter. "What are you doing in there? We have your food!!"

"Yay!!" Akira exited the Playplace and Hikaru silently thanked all the holy figures in Heaven **(Including Sai, of course.) **for preventing him from any further humiliation.

"So what did you order for us?" Hikaru asked as the four of them sat down at a horribly greasy table covered in crumbs. **(Like all tables at fast-food restaurants.)**

"We knew what you wanted, since you were an Insei with us," Isumi said, wiping away another tear. "But we didn't know what Touya wanted…"

"So we got him a kids' meal," **(I didn't want to call it a "Happy Meal," because that's McDonald's, not NcDonald's.) **Waya finished, grinning smugly.

Akira glared at him. "You got me a what?"

"What, you're back to normal now?" Waya asked, amusement evident on his face.

"When was I ever NOT normal?" **(Hehehe…)**

"Um, try two minutes ago," Hikaru answered. "You tried to drag ME into that retarded Playplace with you."

"B-but Shindo!!" Akira exclaimed, eyes shimmering. "The Playplace is such a WONDERFUL place!" **(I think the Playplace is disgusting. Then again, I'm obsessive-compulsive about keeping myself sanitary.)**

Groaning, Hikaru turned away from his rival. "Just shut up and eat, Touya."

So they all ate and they had a GRAND ol' time! Waya and Isumi continued to reminisce about being Insei, and Hikaru joined in every so often. Akira didn't, however, since his was so ABOVE them Insei. He just played with the cheap toy that he got with his food.** (In truth, Akira actually liked his kids meal. He got a little plastic Hawkgirl toy that didn't really do anything, and a really retarded comic about Hawkgirl. Even though the Justice League toys were at Burger King… last April…)**

***

"Okay, everyone, let's get to bed!" Isumi announced as soon as they returned to their room. "Shindo, Touya, you're both sharing a bed, so please try to get along. You have such a good record going for today.** (They only fought… like… twice!!)** And NO ONE is going to sleep until noon tomorrow!!"

"Yes, Isumi-san…" the younger three droned tonelessly.** (Yes Master…)**

"OKAYLIGHTSOUT!!" Isumi pounded the light switch and the room was plunged into darkness. **(Isumi had too much NcDonald's, I think. Now he's hyper or something.) **"Everyone to bed!!"

"Uh… Isumi-san?" Waya's voice said. "We still have to get ready for bed. Now we can't see. Turn the light back on."

"Oh, right." There was a pause **(There were lots of pauses in this chapter…) **before Isumi said, "Um, actually, I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"I think I broke the light switch." **(He pounded it too hard!!)**

"…Oh, whatever. We'll just not be hygienic tonight and go to bed with our clothes on and our teeth not brushed, then?" **(Eww.)**

"Yeah, that sounds good." There was a pause. "How come Shindo and Touya are so quiet?"

"Uh… I guess they fell asleep already?" **(Pshh, yeah right.)**

"Probably. Well, we should turn in as well, then."

And with that, they went to bed.

Little did Isumi know, however, that Hikaru and Akira were certainly NOT asleep. And the next morning he would be very surprised to find a huge bill for late-night room service and Pay-Per-View. **(I thought it would be funnier if I wasn't detailed about what happened. Isumi and Waya seemed to forget that there was a lamp on the bed-side table, which had the phone, though.) (Oh, also, I don't know how Pay-Per-View OR room service work. OH, WELL!!)**


	7. A Go Parlor we are home CHARTER BUS!

5.5.04 - Happy HikaGo Day, everyone!! Actually, this will probably go up tomorrow, due to unforeseen difficulties… details at the end. :D

Later on in this chapter, the boys need to find a means of transportation. My friend Mab suggested, "Have Waya swing in and give them an elephant."  
I just looked at her strangely and said that Waya was already there and that was impossible. So she said to have Tarzan swing in instead. Again, I looked at her strangely. "Tarzan…??"  
"Well, he and Waya both wear wifebeaters," she defended.  
I just stared at her for a moment. "Tarzan DOESN'T wear shirts!!"  
"Well, just… they ARE alike!!"  
Finally, I shouted, "WAYA DOES NOT HAVE AN ELEPHANT!!!"  
I'm sure that a few people were staring at us by then. This took place in the acting room during lunch when a good chunk of the acting population of our school was there.  
Then again, that's sort of a normal occurrence when it comes to us…

Anyway, here's the new chapter. There's quite a bit of odd stuff in here, even by my standards, so just check what I say about them in the commentary before criticizing me or anything. ;;

****

The Camping Trip of DOOM!!  
By Umeko  
Chapter Four: " A Go Parlor… we are home… CHARTER BUS!!"

Isumi stood, arms crossed and eye twitching. He stared down at the two sleeping figures in front of him: Akira, curled up against his goban (which, Isumi noted, had been missing the day before), and Hikaru, sprawled out across the bed, clutching his fan tightly. Surrounding them were various food crumbs, wrappers, and eating utensils. He should have known better than to leave them unattended.

YEAH! SUCK IT UP, ISUMI!!!

"Well…" Waya sighed, "are you going to kick them awake again?"

Isumi shook his head. "No, that was terribly out of character for me yesterday. You do it. No wait," Isumi held out a hand as Waya got ready. "That'll just toss the trash everywhere and make a big mess."

"What do you propose we do, then?"

The older pro thought for a bit, then seemed to make up his mind. Opening his mouth, he said, "Hey, is that Sai?"

"WHERE?!" Immediately, Hikaru and Akira popped out of bed and looked around, then frowned when they only saw Isumi and Waya.

"Oh… that was _not_ funny, Isumi-san," Hikaru pouted.

"Neither is that big mess there," Isumi retorted. "Do you want to go to breakfast, or was your little party last night enough?"

"What?!" Hikaru looked around the bed. "Crap, Touya! You were supposed to clean up the evidence!!"

Akira ran his hands through his messy hair. "No, that was supposed to be you."

"I fell asleep!"

"Well, so did I!!"

"Please don't fight so early in the morning…" Waya groaned, rubbing his temples. "Just clean up and get dressed so that we can get going, savvy?"

Hikaru and Akira nodded solemnly and proceeded to pick up their mess. Suddenly, Akira stopped. "Hey, my goban is here!"

Hikaru rolled his eyes. "Great observation, Touya. You must have had it with you the entire time."

"But I _didn't_."

"How did it get here, then?"

"How am _I_ supposed to know?!"

"Because it's _your_ goban!"

"But it was stolen yesterday!"

"Maybe you're going blind."

Akira gasped as he dropped the trash into a wastebin. "Do you think so?"

"I don't- wait. That would mean that…"

"If I go blind…"

"…You won't be able to play Go!"

They stood and stared at each other for a few moments, not moving. Finally, Waya came back in, glaring. "What are you two doing?! Get moving!"

"Oh, right!!" So they got dressed at lightspeed and went downstairs for their continental breakfast! HOORAH!!

---

"It's a good thing this breakfast is free," Isumi groaned as he chose a bagel. Hikaru and Akira giggled nervously, knowing all too well that the statement was directed towards them.

"So, uh…" Akira peered at the plate of doughnuts. "Where will we be going after this?"

"The sports store down the street," Waya answered.

Hikaru also inspected the doughnuts, then grinned at his rival. Akira shook his head furiously, then turned back to Waya, forcing a smile. "Ah… what for?"

"To buy a pair of oars. We're going upstream today, anyway."

"Ah. I should probably buy a backpack or something, since my go-" He stopped abruptly as Hikaru pressed a jelly doughnut into his hand. "_Shindo!_" he hissed.

"Do it, Touya!" Hikaru whispered back.

Grinning nervously at Waya and Isumi, Akira turned around to face Hikaru. "I'm not doing this, Shindo! We've already gotten in trouble today!"

"Come on, Touya!" He grabbed a cream doughnut. "Look, I'll do it too, okay?"

Isumi blinked, trying to hear what they were conversing about. "Uh… you two…?"

"Give it up, Shindo!" Akira suddenly shouted, aiming the doughnut at his rival and squeezing. Red jelly oozed out of the pastry and over his hands. "Ew!"

Hikaru's face fell. "Aww, it didn't work… well, it was aimed at _my_ face, but-"

"Of _course_ it didn't work, Shindo! This is real life, not a cartoon!"

Isumi slapped his forehead. "Are you two trying to be annoying on purpose?"

"No!" Akira quickly exclaimed, at the same time that Hikaru shouted, "Yes!"

Several businessmen , CEOs, and foreign ambassadors shook their heads in disgust, wondering how a group of rude, noisy teenage kids were able to afford staying in such a high-class five-star hotel. Then they turned back to enjoying their English muffins with marmalade and Honey Dijon mustard.

"Oh, Jesus Christ!" Waya stomped over and snatched Hikaru's fan. "Give me that!"

Hikaru was frozen in a state of shock, staring at his empty hands. Finally he yelled, "Hey! Waya!!"

"I'm taking this, Shindo."

"_WHY?!_"

"You can get it back after breakfast!" he scolded. "But only if you and Touya stop goofing off!"

Hikaru glared at Akira, fuming. "You better not mess this up, Touya!"

"Me? _You're_ the one who started it!"

"Just eat, you two," Isumi sighed, realizing that he had accidentally cooked his bagel too long, and it was not burned to charcoal.

Scoffing, Hikaru turned on his heel to get himself some breakfast. He tossed the cream doughnut back on the tray, but Akira quickly picked it back up, because the businessmen, CEOs, and foreign ambassadors were glaring at the contaminated nut of dough.

So they had a grand ol' time eating their continental breakfast. Isumi discovered the magical toasting machine that has a conveyor belt and always toasts to perfection. So he dumped the toaster and the toaster was sad because it was in love with Isumi. So Isumi had a bagel, fresh fruit, and coffee. But it wasn't black coffee because he doesn't drink black coffee like Arima's Cousin. Waya had cereal and toast. Hikaru had a few doughnuts, and Akira ate the single doughnut that Hikaru forced in his mouth because he doesn't like to eat.

---

"Can we stop somewhere where I can buy a backpack first?" Akira asked once the four had checked out and were walking down the sidewalk. Shifting the goban to his other arm, he added, "I can't carry this the whole way like this."

Waya grunted. "Touya, we're going to a sports store. I'm sure they sell backpacks there."

"Hey, it's a Go parlor!" Hikaru suddenly shouted, stopping in his tracks. The other three stopped as well and gazed lovingly up at the sign that read "Igo."

Finally, Isumi shook himself out of the trance. "We can't go in, guys. We need a good part of the day to row upstream."

"Aww…" Reluctantly, they turned away from the Go parlor and continued to the sports store that was right next door.

Once they were inside, Akira looked around the store curiously. "I've never been to a sports store before."

"Well, yeah." Hikaru rolled his eyes. "I can't really imagine you going into a sports store under normal circumstances, Touya."

"Here, Shindo, take this. I'm going to look at the backpacks." He pushed the goban into Hikaru's arms.

"He-hey!"

"Waya and I are going to go look for a decent pair of oars," Isumi announced. "You two behave."

Waya cocked an eyebrow at Hikaru and Akira before following Isumi to the back.

Groaning, Hikaru set the goban on the floor. "Jeez…"

"Shindo!" Akira whipped around to face his rival. "Be careful with that! Don't just drop it on the floor like that!"

"I didn't _drop_ it, I carefully placed it on the floor."

"Oh, right, I'm sure."

"_Why_ would I drop your goban?!"

"Because you burned it!"

"I wha-" Hikaru paused. "What the hell, I told you that no one burned your goban!!"

"Right… and how can you prove that?"

Hikaru scowled and pointed to the goban very… pointedly. "Does it _look_ burned?!"

"No…"

"Then it's not!!"

"Okay, jeez!!" Akira turned back to looking at the backpacks. "Just leave me alone now, okay?"

"Leave _you_ alone? You're the one who started it!"

"Whatever."

In a huff, Hikaru stomped over to a random part of the store to look at something that was not Touya Akira. He just _happened_ to come a rack of jerseys, all emblazoned with the number 5, so he was happy.

Ten minutes later, the four exited the store, Isumi and Waya each carrying an oar and Akira with some crazy huge camping backpack with all sorts of hooks, straps, and carabiners that he definitely did _not_ need. And, despite urgings against it, Hikaru had bought a little packet of chocolate energy sauce or something. The other three were careful to keep themselves a good distance away from him as he was consuming it, playing with his fan (which Waya had returned while no one was looking).

Finally, they reached the clearing where they had landed, and Hikaru ran around in circles, giggling madly. The others ignored him, however, because…

"My canoe is gone!" Isumi exclaimed, beginning to panic. "I left it right there, and now it's gone!!"

Akira sighed. "Well, this is a public place. It was kind of stupid to leave your canoe sitting out here."

"Shut up, Touya!" Waya growled. "What were we _supposed_ to do with it?!"

Akira shrugged, not caring too much, and entertained himself by sitting down and watching his rival's sugarhigh antics.

"So… what are we going to do, Isumi-san?"

Isumi looked down at the oars sullenly. "I have no idea. I'm not going to buy a new canoe, and I'm not sure how productive it would be to report the theft to the police…"

They stood there for a second.

"We could return the oars and then take the subway back," Waya suggested.

"Our campsite is in the middle of the woods. The subway won't take us there."

"Bullet train?"

"That's not much better."

"Uh… taxi?"

"I'm not paying the fare for a three-hour ride, Waya."

There was another long pause. "…Maybe we could rent a charter bus?"

Isumi turned to look at his friend. "Is that even possible?"

"I don't see why not. And it can't cost much more than there oars, which cost-"

"Please don't remind me," Isumi sighed. "All right, we can try that. But how are we going to find a charter bus to rent?"

Shrugging, Waya said, "We can ask around. And in the meantime, we can have some fun in the city. It's not every day you get to go to Nagano."

"Fun? Like what…?"

---

"Welcome!" The young woman behind the front counter beamed at the boys. "Is this your first time here?"

"_Here_, yes," Isumi replied, digging out his wallet.

By this time, Hikaru had calmed down from his sugar rush and was… eerily calm. "Ahh…" he sighed, closing his eyes. "I've missed going to Go parlors…"

Akira nodded in agreement, drowning himself in the rhythmic sounds of stones being placed on goban…s. "Why did we go camping, anyway?"

"You asked that in the very first sentence, Touya," Waya grunted. "Now get over here and pay the entrance fee."

So everyone paid their entrance fees. They paid X00 yen. Hoorah.

As soon as they walked into the playing room, however, everything went quiet. They briefly wondered what was going on before their questions were answered for them.

"Wow! It's Touya Akira 3-dan!"

"Shindo Hikaru Sho-dan, too!"

"And that's Waya Yoshitaka and Isumi Shinichiro…!!!"

"But Touya-sensei and Shindo-sensei…!!"

"What's the big deal commotion over a sho-dan?" asked some random man who was mildly uneducated regarding the Go pro world and was probably also related to Kitajima in some way. "I understand about Touya, but-"

Then everyone began chewing him out because Hikaru's just THAT cool. After that was done, they went back to their mad rave.

"It is an honor to have you here, Touya-sensei, Shindo-sensei!"

"Would you mind a game of Shidougo?"

"I want to play Touya-sensei!"

"I'll play Shindo-sensei!"

"Wait, I wanted to play them!"

Waya and Isumi, meanwhile, were wondering what had possessed them to bring two prodigies to a Go parlor when they would be obviously and blatantly ignored.

Well, they weren't _blatantly_ ignored, because soon all four of them were playing Shidougo, though the majority of the customers were crowded around Hikaru and Akira's boards.

And that's how our favorite Go boys spent their afternoon. They were even given a free lunch! Isn't being a Go pro just GRAND?!

By four o' clock, Hikaru and Akira had somehow gravitated towards the same board, and began to play a game with each other.

Now, just like in the first chapter, the details of the game will be omitted completely.

But for the first time in this fic, Hikaru and Akira…

…WILL DISCUSS THEIR GAME!!!

"This was a good hand right here," Akira said, pointing to the board. "This hand would have been better, though…"

"Yeah, but that would have left this shape up here open to attack," Hikaru countered.

"But you would have only gained five moku here! You would have gained ten over here!"

"Oh yeah, what about THIS here?!" Hikaru jabbed his finger onto the board in a completely random spot.

"…What are you _doing_? That's completely irrelevant!"

"YOU'RE completely irrelevant, Touya!"

"What in the world does THAT mean?!"

Waya and Isumi shook their heads as the customers began to get really freaked out.

Hikaru and Akira, meanwhile, continued to go over the game while screaming their heads off.

"This, right here! This move was unbelievably moronic, Touya!!"

"Do you even know what you're saying?! If I hadn't gone there, you would have attacked over here!!"

Hikaru paused and peered at the board. "Oh, hey, you're right!"

"Argh!" Akira slapped his forehead in frustration. "That's what I've been trying to TELL you!!"

Frowning in concentration, Hikaru continued. "And then after that if would go like this… and then keima here… then here… and tsuke… Hey! That works!!"

"Of course it does!!" Akira leaned back in his chair and sighed. "You're so obnoxious."

Hikaru just made a face at Akira and turned away.

"Well, I think we should get going," Isumi said, checking his watch. "It's getting kind of late, and we want to get back to the campsite before it's too dark. Now we just have to find a charter bus or something…"

"Oh! I drive a charter bus!" shouted some man because you can always happen to find the transportation you need at a Go parlor. "I'll take you boys wherever you want for free!!"

"YAY!!!" the four boys cheered.

So they all piled into the charter bus and began their fun ride back to the campsite!

---

Now, in case it wasn't too clear, Hikaru, Akira, Waya, and Isumi are now riding on a charter bus that is empty except for them and the driver, who shall henceforth be known as… um… Oke.

"Woo, charter bus!" Waya cheered, lunging into the seats.

Akira raised an eyebrow. "What's the big deal about charter buses?"

Hikaru, who had been sitting behind Akira, vaulted over the seat backs into the seat next to him. "Are you kidding, Touya? Look!" He pointed to a screen on the ceiling near the front of the bus. "There's a TV!!"

"And… is that all?"

"There's also reading lights and reclining seat backs and a bathroom!"

"So…" Akira pieced his rivals babble together. "It's like an airplane, except on ground?"

"Dunno. I've never been on an airplane."

"Ah," Isumi looked up from some book that he was reading. "Yes, it is like an airplane, Touya. Except there's no food."

"Hey, that reminds me!" Waya shouted, standing on a seat in the back of the bus. "We haven't had dinner yet!!"

"Yeah!" Hikaru added. "We're hungry, Isumi-san!!"

Isumi rubbed his temples, sighing. "Fine, just quiet down. Touya, open your ginourmous backpack."

Akira gave Isumi a curious look before opening his backpack, revealing a bunch of junk food.

"I snuck that all in there while you were playing Go."

Gaping, Akira stared at the food. Then he glared up at the older pro. "ISUMI-SAN!! You stole my goban AGAIN!!"

"Wha- I never stole your goban! And it's still in there, look under all the food!"

The 3-dan dug through the food and came upon his goban at the bottom of the bag.

"…Oh."

Isumi sighed and resumed in reading his book. "All right, now you can all eat whatever you want."

"YES!!" Hikaru and Waya immediately pounced on top of the bag as Akira attempted (in vain) to bat them away.

Waya ripped open a bag of chips with his teeth while sitting in the carpeted aisle. "All right! You rock, Isumi-san!"

"Umm… that may be, but could you please act in a civilized manner?"

"Now let's watch a movie!!" Hikaru announced, standing up and running to the front of the bus with a box of cookies in his mouth. "Hey, Oke-san, d'you have any movies?"

"Yes, I do, Shindo-kun!" Oke answered handing him a video. "Here you go!!"

"Golly, thanks, Oke-san!" Hikaru inserted the tape in the VCR and bounced back to the seat next to Akira. "Yay, movie time!!"

"What movie is it, Shindo?" asked Akira.

Hikaru grinned at him. "OLD YELLER!!"

"Oh… what is it about?"

"Geez, are you stupid, Touya?" Waya spoke up. "It's about a dog, duh!"

Akira blinked. "That's it? It's just about a dog?"

"Yup."

"That sounds boring."

"He's kidding, Touya," Isumi added dismissively. "There's more to it than that."

"Like what?"

"Uhh… I forget."

Akira turned to his rival. "Shindo?"

"Shut up, Touya!" Hikaru whispered, swatting at him. "Just watch the damn movie!!"

"Fine!!" Crossing his arms, Akira sat back in his seat.

---

Three hours later…

"Nooo, Yeller!!" Akira sobbed. "Shindo, why did Yeller have to die??"

Awkwardly, Hikaru patted Akira's head. "It's okay, Touya. They got a new puppy at the end, remember?"

"But… but…"

"Shush, Touya!" Waya whispered fiercely, waving his arms. "Isumi-san's sleeping, don't wake him up!!"

"But… but Yeller-"

"I don't care about that stupid dog!!"

Akira gasped, eyes wide, before burying his face in Hikaru's shoulder. Sighing, Hikaru stared at the window, ignoring him.

Suddenly, Oke announced, "We're here!"

The four boys looked out the windows, and sure enough, they saw their campsite! So they all piled out, thanked Oke, and watched as he drove away. Then, they were so very exhausted from riding the charter bus that they immediately went into their tents and went to sleep.

---

Late that night, Hikaru, Akira, Waya, and Isumi were all fast asleep. And, well, they were asleep for a while, until there was suddenly a giant crash!!

The crash was so big that the four were immediately woken up and went outside to see what had happened. And that was when they found what looked suspiciously like the shattered remains of Isumi's canoe.

"Um… oops?" came a voice. Then a blond man wearing a white suit and a cigarette in his mouth jumped down from the tree and landed deftly by the rubble. The man looked suspiciously like…

"Ogata-sensei?!!"

Ogata glanced over his glasses at the boys, then turned to the pile of rubbish. "Sorry about that. I was going to return it, but I didn't think it would break if I dropped it from the tree."

Isumi gaped at his broken canoe, then at the 10-dan. "You stole my canoe?"

"Er, yes. I stole Shindo's ramen and Akira-kun's goban, also."

Waya cocked an eyebrow. "Um… why?"

Ogata shrugged. "I felt like it. I was going to steal something from you kids each day, returning what I had stolen the day before."

"What was the point of _that_?!" Hikaru exclaimed, quickly losing respect for the man.

"There was no point. I didn't do anything with the items, just sat and stared at each of them for a day."

Akira sighed. "Does Otousan know you're doing this?"

Ogata shook his head. "No. He's busy… er… doing something else."

"So…" Hikaru tapped his fan against his cheek. "So… now that we know your intentions, you're going to stop stealing our stuff, right?"

Staring at the boy, Ogata stepped closer. And closer. Finally, when he was right in front of Hikaru, he reached out his hand, raised it close to Hikaru's face, and…

"YOINK!!"

…stole Hikaru's fan, then ran away at lightspeed.

Akira, Waya, and Isumi looked at Hikaru, suddenly immensely worried. Hikaru, however, did not move. His eyes were glazed over, face blank, mouth agape.

"Uh…" Akira waved his hand in front of his rival's face. "Shindo…??"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Hikaru suddenly shouted, falling to the ground. "MY FAN! MY FAN IS GONE!! MYFANMYFANMYFANMYSAIFANFANFANMYFANMYFANIT'SGONE!!!"

"Shindo!" Waya and Akira pulled him back into a standing position.

"Calm down, Shindo!"

"Ogata-san is going to return it tomorrow, don't worry!"

Hikaru's hysterics did not subside. "MYFANMYFANSAIFANFANMYFANFANFANGONE!!!"

Waya was, at this point, completely freaked out and backed away from his friend. "Uhh… Isumi-san and I… We're going back to bed now."

Exasperated, Akira nodded. "Fine. I'll handle Shindo, just go."

"Thanks…" Isumi and Waya quickly went back into their tent and pulled their sleeping bags over their heads.

Akira looked around nervously, then, realizing that it was like two in the morning and no one was watching, he rubbed Hikaru's back, trying to calm him down. "Shh, Shindo, it'll be okay…"

"FAN!! My fan, my fan is gone!!"

"Shhh…" Akira pulled him closer. "Shh… everything will be all right… don't worry…"

"Fan… my fan… my…" Slowly, Hikaru quieted down, though he was still shaking. "To… Touya…"

Akira sighed in relief. "Yes?"

"My… Ogata-sensei took my fan…"

"Yes, I know…" Akira gently pulled his rival back into their tent. "Come back in here, you'll catch cold out there…"

Rubbing his eyes, Hikaru followed him inside the tent.

Once they were settled back on their sleeping bags, Akira said, "Well, good night, Shindo." Much to his surprise, however, he suddenly felt Hikaru grasping at the sleeve of his pajamas. "Shindo, what-?"

"Touya… my… my fan…"

Akira sighed and pulled Hikaru closer to him. "Don't worry, Shindo… I'm here…"

---

---

That wasn't a very funny ending. Oh, well!! It's AkiHika, yay!!! Sob… I am so depressed because ff.net won't let me format my fic the same way I did before. It deletes all the asterisks, too… Anyway… here's why I didn't post this yesterday:

TaiyouTsukaiSalt: -falls over- WHAT?!  
TaiyouTsukaiSalt: I've only typed out two paragraphs of the fourth chapter?!??  
lethe seraph: XD  
lethe seraph: Yeah, isn't that always fun to realize?  
TaiyouTsukaiSalt: I thought I had typed the first five pages or so...  
lethe seraph: ::giggles::  
TaiyouTsukaiSalt: -flips through notebook- Man, this has the THIRD chapter in it...  
TaiyouTsukaiSalt: And Carnations!! -falls over-  
lethe seraph: !!  
lethe seraph: Heh heh.  
TaiyouTsukaiSalt: And the Amusement Park one... Where is the fourth chapter?!  
lethe seraph: XD  
lethe seraph: Ah.  
lethe seraph: I nod.  
TaiyouTsukaiSalt: Oh, here we go.  
lethe seraph: Found it/  
lethe seraph: I mean... ?  
lethe seraph: Found it?  
lethe seraph: Heh heh.  
TaiyouTsukaiSalt: Well... I need to find the first two pages, but I found the rest of it.  
TaiyouTsukaiSalt: My notebook is so unorganized. It's like, "Hikago, hikago, doodles, hikago, cerebral cortex, hikago"

And that is why this chapter did not go up yesterday. -smiles-

ALSO!! -shameless plug!!- My LJ HikaGo RP is in desperate need of members, so if anyone is interested, the rules and everything are here:   
Well, THAT'S not showing up. Whatever, I have the link in my profile, so look there, and JOIN!! It's fun fun fun!!

NOW!! REVIEWS, YAY!!!

****

SakuraStar- NO! PLEASE DON'T SUE ME!! ANIME BOSTON TOOK ALL MY MONEY!!

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Killua Bakura- They are indeed sharing the bed! All four of them are sharing the room. AND YOU CHANGED YOUR NAME!!! :O

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MyNekoKyou- I'm glad you like it so much! :D

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Dephanie- No… I only took TWO months. x.x

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Am1-13th- YAY AKIHIKA!! It's a PALINDROME!!

****

H.R.E.- Thanks! They're fun to write! XD

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Lethe Seraph- XD You've done the same thing to me many times before, Dearest. I just never told you. :P

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Lethe Seraph (again! :D)- Well… you're awesomer.


	8. A Go Parlor we are home CHARTER BUS! w W...

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The Camping Trip of DOOM!!  
By Umeko  
Chapter Four: " A Go Parlor… we are home… CHARTER BUS!!"

Isumi stood, arms crossed and eye twitching. He stared down at the two sleeping figures in front of him: Akira, curled up against his goban (which, Isumi noted, had been missing the day before), and Hikaru, sprawled out across the bed, clutching his fan tightly. Surrounding them were various food crumbs, wrappers, and eating utensils. **(Eww…)** He should have known better than to leave them unattended.

YEAH! SUCK IT UP, ISUMI!!!** (YEAH!!! Um, but remember, I have nothing against Isumi. Though Mab seems to think I do. o.O)**

"Well…" Waya sighed, "are you going to kick them awake again?"

Isumi shook his head. "No, that was terribly out of character for me yesterday. **(-nods-) **You do it. No wait," Isumi held out a hand as Waya got ready. "That'll just toss the trash everywhere and make a big mess."

"What do you propose we do, then?"

The older pro thought for a bit, then seemed to make up his mind.** (It took me like five hours to figure out how he'd wake them up.)** Opening his mouth, he said, "Hey, is that Sai?"

"WHERE?!" Immediately, Hikaru and Akira popped out of bed and looked around, then frowned when they only saw Isumi and Waya.

"Oh… that was _not_ funny, Isumi-san," Hikaru pouted.

"Neither is that big mess there," Isumi retorted. "Do you want to go to breakfast, or was your little party last night enough?"** (Minds out of the gutter, this is a PG fic!!)**

"What?!" Hikaru looked around the bed. "Crap, Touya! You were supposed to clean up the evidence!!"** (PG.)**

Akira ran his hands through his messy hair. "No, that was supposed to be you."

"I fell asleep!"

"Well, so did I!!"

"Please don't fight so early in the morning…" Waya groaned, rubbing his temples. "Just clean up and get dressed so that we can get going, savvy?"** (Um… savvy… yes.)**

Hikaru and Akira nodded solemnly and proceeded to pick up their mess. Suddenly, Akira stopped. "Hey, my goban is here!"** (HOORAY!!!)**

Hikaru rolled his eyes. "Great observation, Touya. You must have had it with you the entire time."

"But I _didn't_."

"How did it get here, then?"

"How am _I_ supposed to know?!"

"Because it's _your_ goban!"

"But it was stolen yesterday!"

"Maybe you're going blind."

Akira gasped as he dropped the trash into a wastebin. "Do you think so?"

"I don't- wait. That would mean that…"

"If I go blind…"

"…You won't be able to play Go!"** (Well, he could play BLIND Go… Hahaha… that's not funny.)**

They stood and stared at each other for a few moments, not moving. Finally, Waya came back in, glaring. "What are you two doing?! Get moving!"

"Oh, right!!" So they got dressed at lightspeed and went downstairs for their continental breakfast! HOORAH!!** (YAY!!!)**

---

"It's a good thing this breakfast is free," Isumi groaned as he chose a bagel. Hikaru and Akira giggled nervously, knowing all too well that the statement was directed towards them.** (Because of their "party.")**

"So, uh…" Akira peered at the plate of doughnuts. "Where will we be going after this?"

"The sports store down the street," Waya answered.

Hikaru also inspected the doughnuts, then grinned at his rival. Akira shook his head furiously **(Oh, yes. They communicate telepathically.)**, then turned back to Waya, forcing a smile. "Ah… what for?"

"To buy a pair of oars. We're going upstream today, anyway."** (They should have had oars BEFORE, but…)**

"Ah. I should probably buy a backpack or something, since my go-" He stopped abruptly as Hikaru pressed a jelly doughnut into his hand. "_Shindo!_" he hissed.** (Do you know what Hikaru's planning? XD)**

"Do it, Touya!" Hikaru whispered back.

Grinning nervously at Waya and Isumi, Akira turned around to face Hikaru. "I'm not doing this, Shindo! We've already gotten in trouble today!"

"Come on, Touya!" He grabbed a cream doughnut. "Look, I'll do it too, okay?"

Isumi blinked, trying to hear what they were conversing about. **(Because they were being _so_ inconspicuous about it.) **"Uh… you two…?"

"Give it up, Shindo!" Akira suddenly shouted, aiming the doughnut at his rival and squeezing. Red jelly oozed out of the pastry and over his hands. **(I considered actually having it squirt out into Hikaru's face.) **"Ew!"

Hikaru's face fell. "Aww, it didn't work… well, it was aimed at _my_ face, but-"

"Of _course_ it didn't work, Shindo! This is real life, not a cartoon!"** (Oh, the irony.)**

Isumi slapped his forehead. "Are you two trying to be annoying on purpose?"

"No!" Akira quickly exclaimed, at the same time that Hikaru shouted, "Yes!"** (Hahaha!! This is so… um… yeah…)**

Several businessmen , CEOs, and foreign ambassadors shook their heads in disgust, wondering how a group of rude, noisy teenage kids were able to afford staying in such a high-class five-star hotel. Then they turned back to enjoying their English muffins with marmalade and Honey Dijon mustard.** (Eww… I was trying to think of dignified breakfast food, but that just sounds disgusting.)**

"Oh, Jesus Christ **(Oooh, using the Lord's name in vain… bad…)**!" Waya stomped over and snatched Hikaru's fan. "Give me that!"** (Random? Maybe.)**

Hikaru was frozen in a state of shock, staring at his empty hands. Finally he yelled, "Hey! Waya!!"

"I'm taking this, Shindo."

"_WHY?!_"

"You can get it back after breakfast!" he scolded. "But only if you and Touya stop goofing off!"

Hikaru glared at Akira, fuming. "You better not mess this up, Touya!"

"Me? _You're_ the one who started it!"

"Just eat, you two," Isumi sighed, realizing that he had accidentally cooked his bagel too long, and it was not burned to charcoal.** (Um… yeah. In case you wanted to know.)**

Scoffing, Hikaru turned on his heel to get himself some breakfast. He tossed the cream doughnut back on the tray, but Akira quickly picked it back up, because the businessmen, CEOs, and foreign ambassadors were glaring at the contaminated nut of dough.** (Nut of dough… doughnut… yeah…)**

(This is the paragraph where I list what everyone eats, as if you really want to know!!) So they had a grand ol' time eating their continental breakfast. Isumi discovered the magical toasting machine that has a conveyor belt and always toasts to perfection.** (Do you have any idea what I'm referring to here?)** So he dumped the toaster and the toaster was sad because it was in love with Isumi.** (This is so messed up. I don't know where it came from.)** So Isumi had a bagel, fresh fruit, and coffee. But it wasn't black coffee because he doesn't drink black coffee like Arima's cousin.** (Arima's cousin… also known as Kishimoto. See, in Kareshi Kanojo no Jijou [or Kare Kano for short…], Arima at one point goes to a family reunion or something. He has some relative [who I randomly decided was his cousin, though they never say] who looks a lot like Kishimoto. So from then on Kishimoto has been known as Arima's Cousin.) (Uhh, Kishimoto, by the way, was the first board for Kaio. In case you forgot or something.)** Waya had cereal and toast. Hikaru had a few doughnuts, and Akira ate the single doughnut that Hikaru forced in his mouth because he doesn't like to eat.** (I exaggerated here. It's not that he doesn't like to eat, it's that he doesn't like to eat in the middle of games. But we can just ignore that for now.)**

---

"Can we stop somewhere where I can buy a backpack first?" Akira asked once the four had checked out and were walking down the sidewalk. Shifting the goban to his other arm, he added, "I can't carry this the whole way like this."

Waya grunted. "Touya, we're going to a sports store. I'm sure they sell backpacks there."

"Hey, it's a Go parlor!" Hikaru suddenly shouted, stopping in his tracks. The other three stopped as well and gazed lovingly up at the sign that read "Igo."** (It's so… beautiful…)**

Finally, Isumi shook himself out of the trance. "We can't go in, guys. We need a good part of the day to row upstream."

"Aww…" Reluctantly, they turned away from the Go parlor and continued to the sports store that was right next door.** (Very conveniently.)**

Once they were inside, Akira looked around the store curiously. "I've never been to a sports store before."** (I was thinking EMS as I was writing this. EMS being Eastern Mountain Sports, not Emergency Medical Services. My brother loves EMS; he's happy that I'm going to Bryn Mawr because apparently there's a huge EMS in Bryn Mawr. Um, yes, moving on…)**

"Well, yeah." Hikaru rolled his eyes. "I can't really imagine you going into a sports store under normal circumstances, Touya."

"Here, Shindo, take this. I'm going to look at the backpacks." He pushed the goban into Hikaru's arms.

"He-hey!"

"Waya and I are going to go look for a decent pair of oars," Isumi announced. "You two behave."** (Oh, yeah, like that's going to happen.)**

Waya cocked an eyebrow **(He does that quite a bit…)** at Hikaru and Akira before following Isumi to the back.

Groaning, Hikaru set the goban on the floor. "Jeez…"

"Shindo!" Akira whipped around to face his rival. "Be careful with that! Don't just drop it on the floor like that!"** (Overreacting much?)**

"I didn't _drop_ it, I carefully placed it on the floor."

"Oh, right, I'm sure."

"_Why_ would I drop your goban?!"

"Because you burned it!"** (Remember that?)**

"I wha-" Hikaru paused. "What the hell, I told you that no one burned your goban!!"

"Right… and how can you prove that?"

Hikaru scowled and pointed to the goban very… pointedly.** (Of course.)** "Does it _look_ burned?!"

"No…"

"Then it's not!!"

"Okay, jeez!!" Akira turned back to looking at the backpacks. "Just leave me alone now, okay?"

"Leave _you_ alone? You're the one who started it!"** (He really was… oh, well.)**

"Whatever."

In a huff, Hikaru stomped over to a random part of the store to look at something that was not Touya Akira. He just _happened_ **(Not like I PLANNED it or anything…) **to come a rack of jerseys, all emblazoned with the number 5, so he was happy.** (Um, really. I seriously didn't plan on this.) (Really!!)**

Ten minutes later, the four exited the store, Isumi and Waya each carrying an oar and Akira with some crazy huge camping backpack with all sorts of hooks, straps, and carabiners **(Those things that rock climbers use… and that my brother loves…)** that he definitely did _not_ need. And, despite urgings against it, Hikaru had bought a little packet of chocolate energy sauce or something.** (EMS sells these packets of liquid energy stuff that's really disgusting and Hikaru obviously does not need extra energy. Um… that sentence got off-track really quickly.)** The other three were careful to keep themselves a good distance away from him as he was consuming it, playing with his fan (which Waya had returned while no one was looking). **(Actually… I had forgotten about it and didn't feel like going back and fixing it.)**

Finally, they reached the clearing where they had landed, and Hikaru ran around in circles, giggling madly.** (See what I said? He doesn't need extra energy.)** The others ignored him, however, because…

"My canoe is gone!" Isumi exclaimed, beginning to panic. "I left it right there, and now it's gone!!"** (HORRORS!!)**

Akira sighed. "Well, this is a public place. It was kind of stupid to leave your canoe sitting out here."** (Yeah, anyone could come along and steal a CANOE…)**

"Shut up, Touya!" Waya growled. "What were we _supposed_ to do with it?!"

Akira shrugged, not caring too much, and entertained himself by sitting down and watching his rival's sugarhigh antics.

"So… what are we going to do, Isumi-san?"

Isumi looked down at the oars sullenly. "I have no idea. I'm not going to buy a new canoe, and I'm not sure how productive it would be to report the theft to the police…"**(Because, frankly, I don't think that the police would care about a stolen canoe that was left out unprotected anyway.)**

They stood there for a second.

"We could return the oars and then take the subway back," Waya suggested.

"Our campsite is in the middle of the woods. The subway won't take us there."

"Bullet train?"

"That's not much better."

"Uh… taxi?"

"I'm not paying the fare for a three-hour ride, Waya."

There was another long pause. "…Maybe we could rent a charter bus?" **(I wanted them the ride a charter bus for some reason. It probably costs more than a taxi, but…) (Now, SCHOOL buses? They cost like five dollars, mwahahaha.)**

Isumi turned to look at his friend. "Is that even possible?"

"I don't see why not. And it can't cost much more than there oars, which cost-"

"Please don't remind me," Isumi sighed.** (I really don't know how much oars cost. When my family is in EMS buying my brother a bunch of stuff that he really doesn't need, I just look at the animal postcards and stuff.) (And I don't understand why my parents buy my brother BRAND NEW scuba gear and lacrosse gear and fencing gear and PDAs that he REALLY doesn't need and refuse to buy me a freaking goban, even when I say that I'll help pay for one!! Okay, I'm done.)** "All right, we can try that. But how are we going to find a charter bus to rent?"

Shrugging, Waya said, "We can ask around. And in the meantime, we can have some fun in the city.** (PG.)** It's not every day you get to go to Nagano."

"Fun? Like what…?" **(PG!!)**

---

"Welcome!" The young woman behind the front counter beamed at the boys. "Is this your first time here?" **(Guess where they are.)**

"_Here_, yes," Isumi replied, digging out his wallet.

By this time, Hikaru had calmed down from his sugar rush **(didn't take long…)** and was… eerily calm. "Ahh…" he sighed, closing his eyes. "I've missed going to Go parlors…" **(They've only been away from civilization for like three days!)**

Akira nodded in agreement, drowning himself in the rhythmic sounds of stones being placed on goban…s.** (Plural. I didn't know if I should put an 's' or not, mwahahaigoahejtnlfkjhfghg.) (Hey, that says 'igo'! XD)** "Why did we go camping, anyway?"

"You asked that in the very first sentence **(of the entire fic)**, Touya," Waya grunted. "Now get over here and pay the entrance fee."

So everyone paid their entrance fees. They paid X00 yen.** (How specific.)** Hoorah.

As soon as they walked into the playing room, however, everything went quiet. They briefly wondered what was going on before their questions were answered for them.

"Wow! It's Touya Akira 3-dan!"

"Shindo Hikaru Sho-dan, too!"

"And that's Waya Yoshitaka and Isumi Shinichiro…!!!"

"But Touya-sensei and Shindo-sensei…!!" **(No one cares about Waya and Isumi!!)**

"What's the big deal commotion over a sho-dan?" asked some random man who was mildly uneducated regarding the Go pro world and was probably also related to Kitajima **(The guy from the Touya Go Salon who doesn't like Hikaru, you know?) **in some way. "I understand about Touya, but-"

Then everyone began chewing him out because Hikaru's just THAT cool. After that was done, they went back to their mad rave.

"It is an honor to have you here, Touya-sensei, Shindo-sensei!"

"Would you mind a game of Shidougo?"

"I want to play Touya-sensei!"

"I'll play Shindo-sensei!"

"Wait, I wanted to play them!"

Waya and Isumi, meanwhile, were wondering what had possessed them to bring two prodigies to a Go parlor when they would be obviously and blatantly ignored. **(Obviously. They didn't really think about this, did they?)**

Well, they weren't _blatantly_ ignored, because soon all four of them were playing Shidougo, though the majority of the customers were crowded around Hikaru and Akira's boards.

And that's how our favorite Go boys spent their afternoon. They were even given a free lunch! Isn't being a Go pro just GRAND?! **(I just covered like nine hours in a single line! YAY!!)**

By four o' clock **(Okay, more like six hours…?)**, Hikaru and Akira had somehow gravitated towards the same board, and began to play a game with each other.

Now, just like in the first chapter, the details of the game will be omitted completely. **(Because I still suck.) (I WANT A GOBAN!!)**

But for the first time in this fic, Hikaru and Akira…

…WILL DISCUSS THEIR GAME!!! **(SHOCK!!!) (Also known as: I make up a bunch of crud in an attempt to sound smart!)**

"This was a good hand right here," Akira said, pointing to the board. "This hand would have been better, though…"

"Yeah, but that would have left this shape up here open to attack," Hikaru countered.

"But you would have only gained five moku here! You would have gained ten over here!"

"Oh yeah, what about THIS here?!" Hikaru jabbed his finger onto the board in a completely random spot. **(Don't ask WHY, he just DID.)**

"…What are you _doing_? That's completely irrelevant!"

"YOU'RE completely irrelevant, Touya!"

"What in the world does THAT mean?!"

Waya and Isumi shook their heads as the customers began to get really freaked out. **(After all, how are they to know that Hikaru and Akira do this EVERY SINGLE TIME?!)**

Hikaru and Akira, meanwhile, continued to go over the game while screaming their heads off. **(Okay, THAT'S a bit of an exaggeration.)**

"This, right here! This move was unbelievably moronic, Touya!!"

"Do you even know what you're saying?! If I hadn't gone there, you would have attacked over here!!"

Hikaru paused and peered at the board. "Oh, hey, you're right!" **(I don't know why I did THIS. I really don't think it would ever happen. Hikaru would just storm out.)**

"Argh!" Akira slapped his forehead in frustration. "That's what I've been trying to TELL you!!"

Frowning in concentration, Hikaru continued. "And then after that if would go like this… and then keima here… then here… and tsuke… **(Those were the only Go terms I could think of at 7 in the morning, when I wrote this part of the chapter.)** Hey! That works!!"

"Of course it does!!" Akira leaned back in his chair and sighed. "You're so obnoxious."

Hikaru just made a face at Akira and turned away.

"Well, I think we should get going," Isumi said, checking his watch. "It's getting kind of late, and we want to get back to the campsite before it's too dark. Now we just have to find a charter bus or something…"

"Oh! I drive a charter bus!" shouted some man because you can always happen to find the transportation you need at a Go parlor.** (Another exaggeration, haha. Only Kawai-san and Shuhei have been transportation people found at Go parlors.)** "I'll take you boys wherever you want for free!!" **(HOW CONVENIENT!!)**

"YAY!!!" the four boys cheered.

So they all piled into the charter bus and began their fun ride back to the campsite! **(Wow, that's, like, the worst transition I've ever done. They didn't even leave the Go parlor before getting into the bus! The bus was just RIGHT there!!!)**

--- **(This is really random, but the entire time I was typing this out [it took like six hours], I listened to one single song over and over. That's "Shine We Are!" by BoA; it's really good. MOVING ON!!)**

Now, in case it wasn't too clear, Hikaru, Akira, Waya, and Isumi are now riding on a charter bus that is empty except for them and the driver, who shall henceforth be known as… um… Oke.** (Yes. His name is Bucket.)**

"Woo, charter bus!" Waya cheered, lunging into the seats.

Akira raised an eyebrow. "What's the big deal about charter buses?"** (They're only AWESOME.)**

Hikaru, who had been sitting behind Akira, vaulted over the seat backs into the seat next to him. "Are you kidding, Touya? Look!" He pointed to a screen on the ceiling near the front of the bus. "There's a TV!!"

"And… is that all?"

"There's also reading lights and reclining seat backs and a bathroom!"

"So…" Akira pieced his rivals babble together. "It's like an airplane, except on ground?"

"Dunno. I've never been on an airplane."

"Ah," Isumi looked up from some book that he was reading. "Yes, it is like an airplane, Touya. Except there's no food."** (I assume that Isumi went on an airplane to get to Chi- HEY! HE DIDN'T USE HIS SUPER POWERS IN THIS CHAPTER!!!)**

"Hey, that reminds me!" Waya shouted, standing on a seat in the back of the bus. "We haven't had dinner yet!!"

"Yeah!" Hikaru added. "We're hungry, Isumi-san!!"

Isumi rubbed his temples, sighing. "Fine, just quiet down. Touya, open your ginourmous **("Ginourmous" actually wasn't indicated as misspelled… o.O)** backpack."

Akira gave Isumi a curious look before opening his backpack, revealing a bunch of junk food.

"I snuck that all in there while you were playing Go."

Gaping, Akira stared at the food. Then he glared up at the older pro. "ISUMI-SAN!! You stole my goban AGAIN!!" **(ISUMI-SAN! YOU KLEPTO!!)**

"Wha- I never stole your goban! And it's still in there, look under all the food!"

The 3-dan dug through the food and came upon his goban at the bottom of the bag.

"…Oh."

Isumi sighed and resumed in reading his book. "All right, now you can all eat whatever you want."

"YES!!" Hikaru and Waya immediately pounced on top of the bag as Akira attempted (in vain) to bat them away. **(I like this image for some reason.)**

Waya ripped open a bag of chips with his teeth while sitting in the carpeted aisle. "All right! You rock, Isumi-san!"

"Umm… that may be, but could you please act in a civilized manner?"

"Now let's watch a movie!!" Hikaru announced, standing up and running to the front of the bus with a box of cookies in his mouth. "Hey, Oke-san, d'you have any movies?"

"Yes, I do, Shindo-kun!" Oke answered handing him a video. **(MWAHAHA!) **"Here you go!!"

"Golly **(o.O;;;)**, thanks, Oke-san!" **(Translation of "Arigatou Oke-san" by Babelfish: "Thank you the bucket.")** Hikaru inserted the tape in the VCR and bounced back to the seat next to Akira. "Yay, movie time!!"

"What movie is it, Shindo?" asked Akira.

Hikaru grinned at him. "OLD YELLER!!" **(YAY!! XD For some reason, I really wanted them to watch Old Yeller. Even though I haven't seen it in like ten years… OH! EMAIL!!)**

"Oh… what is it about?" **(Geez… it's email from myself, how lame…)**

"Geez, are you stupid, Touya?" Waya spoke up. "It's about a dog, duh!"

Akira blinked. "That's it? It's just about a dog?"

"Yup."** (LIAR!!)**

"That sounds boring."

"He's kidding, Touya," Isumi added dismissively. "There's more to it than that."

"Like what?"

"Uhh… I forget."** (I forget too, haha… yeah…)**

Akira turned to his rival. "Shindo?"

"Shut up, Touya!" Hikaru whispered, swatting at him.** (I like the swatting and batting… XD)** "Just watch the damn movie!!"

"Fine!!" Crossing his arms, Akira sat back in his seat.

---

Three hours later… **(For some reason I overestimated how long Old Yeller is. It's actually 84 minutes long. Oh, well. We can pretend that, uh, it was on slow motion. Yup.)**

"Nooo, Yeller!!" Akira sobbed. "Shindo, why did Yeller have to die??"** (That's about all that I remember about the movie.)**

Awkwardly, Hikaru patted Akira's head. "It's okay, Touya. They got a new puppy at the end, remember?"** (I mean… they did, didn't they? I think I remember that… or I may just be delusional.)**

"But… but…"

"Shush, Touya!" Waya whispered fiercely, waving his arms. "Isumi-san's sleeping, don't wake him up!!"** (Random much?)**

"But… but Yeller-"

"I don't care about that stupid dog!!"** (GASP!!)**

Akira gasped, eyes wide, before burying his face in Hikaru's shoulder.** (YEEK!! XD)** Sighing, Hikaru stared at the window, ignoring him.** (I was contemplating on whether I should turn Akira into Wimpy Akira in this chapter. This is the only time he does.)**

Suddenly, Oke announced, "We're here!"** (Sure WAS sudden!!)**

The four boys looked out the windows, and sure enough, they saw their campsite! So they all piled out, thanked Oke, and watched as he drove away. Then, they were so very exhausted from riding the charter bus **(Riding a bus IS so very tiring.)** that they immediately went into their tents and went to sleep.

--- **(Did you think that was the end? WELL GUESS WHAT?! IT WASN'T!! HAHAHA!!)**

Late that night, Hikaru, Akira, Waya, and Isumi were all fast asleep. And, well, they were asleep for a while, until there was suddenly a giant crash!! **(KABOOM!!!)**

The crash was so big that the four were immediately woken up and went outside to see what had happened. And that was when they found what looked suspiciously like the shattered remains of Isumi's canoe.** (Hmmm…)**

"Um… oops?" came a voice. Then a blond man wearing a white suit and a cigarette in his mouth **(Guess who?) **jumped down from the tree and landed deftly by the rubble. The man looked suspiciously like…

"Ogata-sensei?!!"** (Akira yelled "Ogata-san?!!" though.)**

Ogata glanced over his glasses at the boys, then turned to the pile of rubbish. "Sorry about that. I was going to return it, but I didn't think it would break if I dropped it from the tree."** (I… really messed Ogata up. Of COURSE it's going to break if you drop it from the tree! It'll make a big noise, too! JEEZ!!)**

Isumi gaped at his broken canoe, then at the 10-dan. "You stole my canoe?"

"Er, yes. I stole Shindo's ramen and Akira-kun's goban, also."** (How very truthful of him.)**

Waya cocked an eyebrow. "Um… why?"

Ogata shrugged. "I felt like it. I was going to steal something from you kids each day, returning what I had stolen the day before."** (Only a little bit psychotic…)**

"What was the point of _that_?!" Hikaru exclaimed, quickly losing respect for the man.

"There was no point. I didn't do anything with the items, just sat and stared at each of them for a day."** (And… a little more psychotic…)**

Akira sighed. "Does Otousan know you're doing this?"

Ogata shook his head. "No. He's busy… er… doing something else."** (Hmm… how very suspicious…)**

"So…" Hikaru tapped his fan against his cheek. "So… now that we know your intentions, you're going to stop stealing our stuff, right?"** (YEAH!!!)**

Staring at the boy, Ogata stepped closer. And closer. Finally, when he was right in front of Hikaru, he reached out his hand, raised it close to Hikaru's face, and… **(PG!!!)**

"YOINK!!"

…stole Hikaru's fan, then ran away at lightspeed. **(…Yes. Ogata is so very out of character.)**

Akira, Waya, and Isumi looked at Hikaru, suddenly immensely worried. Hikaru, however, did not move. His eyes were glazed over, face blank, mouth agape. **(He's in shock. Again.)**

"Uh…" Akira waved his hand in front of his rival's face. "Shindo…??"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Hikaru suddenly shouted, **(You don't care, but this is the point where I ran out of pages in my notebook. It was the second notebook that this chapter was written in- the one before it had the chapter up to the Go parlor argument in it. Along with all of chapter three.)** falling to the ground. "MY FAN! MY FAN IS GONE!! MYFANMYFANMYFANMYSAIFANFANFANMYFANMYFANIT'SGONE!!!" **(I don't know if they realized that he said "Sai.")**

"Shindo!" Waya and Akira pulled him back into a standing position.

"Calm down, Shindo!"

"Ogata-san is going to return it tomorrow, don't worry!"** (That was Akira. It's pretty obvious, but I wanted to point that out.)**

Hikaru's hysterics did not subside. "MYFANMYFANSAIFANFANMYFANFANFANGONE!!!"** (Heheh… he said "Sai" again.)**

Waya was, at this point, completely freaked out and backed away from his friend.** (After all, Akira IS the one who understands Hikaru best.)** "Uhh… Isumi-san and I… We're going back to bed now." **(How kind.)**

Exasperated, Akira nodded. "Fine. I'll handle Shindo, just go."** (Akira WANTS them to go away, MWAHAHAHA!!!)**

"Thanks…" Isumi and Waya **(I almost spelled "Waya" with a Q here. I don't know WHY.) **quickly went back into their tent and pulled their sleeping bags over their heads.** (Like little cocoons!!)**

Akira looked around nervously, then, realizing that it was like two in the morning and no one was watching, he rubbed Hikaru's back, trying to calm him down.** (I told you he wanted them to go away!!)** "Shh, Shindo, it'll be okay…"

"FAN!! My fan, my fan is gone!!"

"Shhh…" Akira pulled him closer.** (SQUEE!!! v)** "Shh… everything will be all right… don't worry…"

"Fan… my fan… my…" Slowly, Hikaru quieted down, though he was still shaking. "To… Touya…"

Akira sighed in relief.** (Yay, Hikaru is coming to his senses… sort of…)** "Yes?"

"My… Ogata-sensei took my fan…"

"Yes, I know…" Akira gently pulled his rival back into their tent. "Come back in here, you'll catch cold out there…" **(Aww… -squeal-)**

Rubbing his eyes, Hikaru followed him inside the tent.

Once they were settled back on their sleeping bags, Akira said, "Well, good night, Shindo." Much to his surprise, however, he suddenly felt Hikaru grasping at the sleeve of his pajamas. **(Poor Hikaru's lonely… PG!!)** "Shindo, what-?"

"Touya… my… my fan…" **(This would be funny if Hikaru wasn't so depressed.)**

Akira sighed and pulled Hikaru closer to him.** (PG, I SAY!!!)** "Don't worry, Shindo… I'm here…" **(THE END! MWAHAHA I'M EVIL!!!)**


End file.
